Day, uhm. Morning. Uhm. Damn. Is it? Really… DAY TEN

It is daylight outside. The news is telling me that America has been collecting everyone’s emails and redistributing to god, the devil or anyone else with a cheque book and an old 386 on dialup who asks nice enough, thanks.

I guess this mean I can stop trying to sleep and just bloody well get up and forget it for another night.

Neat.

Did I tell you I got out some books?

Just looking through this authors notes on addiction recovery at http://veronicavalli.com/2013/06/recovery-rocks-cathryn-kemp/ and am obviously over the moon to find N.A. literature almost word for word in her “interview” responses.

“There is no alternative to recovery.
As addicts or alcoholics there is no other happy future;
only pain, misery and possibly death without it.”
(I think she may have added “POSSIBLY” in front of death. N.A is too hard core)


Recovery is about learning not to hide,
to become our own person and
that can mean hard choices being made.
It is the only way though.
The only true and real path and
we are all brave enough to undertake it.”
Well, that one isn’t N.A. directly… But, all goods!

I suppose I should read more than a few pages of the book. The whole bloody 1990’s new age women, power, friendships, self help, how to win friends et al (and Sally Jesse off TV) appear to have moved into the addiction recovery industry.

WHY IS THIS. Addiction is a growing business. It is huge. Time is rife. And that leads me start thinking that I should write a book. It would take fifty years. I would call it Globalization of Addiction and I would add the N.A. literature to the back with the word GOD changed to MY HIGHER POWER by using a program written by Richard Sedger and hence sold forth. As an aside – I know the guy who wrote the first computer virus as part of a fourth year computer paper at university. Up until then virus were merely a proposition. Uhm. How do I keep my brain on track?

Hell, once I write a 5,000 word epic to the Police Complaints Commissionaire today I may think about it. This court case is silly, but expected. You don’t just drive off and cause a massive Police chase instead of staying to talk to the uniformed wearing idiot who thinks you’re under arrest without expecting an appearance or two. Anyway. Drugs are Good. When you do them everyone thinks that you’re cool. Honestly.

How do you feel bro?

God (….. sorry …. eeeurm …… “my higher power” ….) I need sleep, rest. This withdrawal thing is crap. I have to open a new window just to remember what day I am on. I know it’s a Tuesday. Therefore I can work it out without opening a window. It is (counting on fingers, F F S) TENTH DAY with no(*) methadone today.

The guy who wrote the book stating that opiate withdrawal is “nothing more than a minor hindrance” is a bit of a dick. But then again, as per the previous post I do agree with him a little. I feel ABSOLUTELY CRAP when I have to sit still or lie down. But when moving and walking I am okay. You ever tried being awake 24/7 and having to move the whole time? Try it. Get back to me. Or better, get back to ROMANCING OPIATES – Theodore Dalrymple

So, a very slow day coming on. You just cannot survive on so little sleep. Luckily I have no job and hardly any life. Otherwise I couldn’t take this time out to do this!

Still, Wellington DHB CADS bloody detox people offering me nothing and telling me “no” when I presented on day six of withdrawal. Gave me some dia-stop so I could hold food in my stomach. Didn’t give me any advice or help at all otherwise.

The system needs a severe looking at. I wasn’t there with drug seeking behaviour. I was there simply to get help with currently feeling as if I have been towed behind a ferry across Sydney harbour and back. Tired. Half drowned.

I feel like I have swine flu again. Other than some minor differences with muscle spasms….

Cheers, of the soda variety. I remember once telling people I had swine flu as didn’t want anyone to know I was withdrawing again, wow. Those days seem halcion now!

In the pursuit of SERENITY…

.I went and put my finances into the hands of the budget advice people. I divert all incoming money to them, they pay all my bills, arrange payments with creditors, pay everyone and then give me about fifty bucks a week.

Anyone got a job for an obviously psychotic addict?

Way back when…

(*) other than <10mgs taken orally on day six which was very good. It was required.

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