Born Again.Day Fourteen.

Psysically okay. Cannot type will as the letter and words come out back to front.

Time for a hanf writiing tesst….. I maen;

HANDWRITING TEST

Sound like I am in a good mood when I play that back. Think I am taking the piss out of myself.

wowo. Right forearm feel liks it is very sun burnt. Don’t think it is. Overcast days in July in NZ are really not burn situations.

Bumms. Pho cellphone is covered with blood.

I hit my daughter across her back last night. I tried to hug her good night and she fucken hit me right royally hard. JUst so happens I had been hit with a steel bar there sic months ago. My hard head ain’t what it used to be.

She spart and hit me the other day.

I think her mum has told her if I hug her I am trying to a kiddy fucken molestor,

Anyway, I hit her back a litte. Gave her one hello of a fright. I explained that hitting was for people who needed it and that you had to be careful as people will hit you back.

Yesterday thus junky guy on his way to sell hot product to a shop was in so much of a hurry we had to avoid him. So I stood there, made sure I could the the dodgy transaction unfold and then told this guy quietly that if he ever saw me or my daughter again he was to bow and cross the road. If he chose not to I would be forced to hurt him and take everything out his bag. If it ever got out of hand I will walk into that shop and take anything to the same value as I just seen come out your back. Now piss of, and never trouble me or my daughter again.

The guy seemed to take it on board. Arms up in a defensive manner… enough said.

So I go half N A meeting. So I went to a NARCOTICS meeting. Culdnt  say anything, just had to leave. The girl who was angry and losing it the other day was there, there were heaps of people there. I am they all could have been useful to talk to.

I love my little girl. And if this hitting and crap isn’t sorted out (or sorted out wrongly) there will be issues for her too.

I have already told you she is similar to me all a lot of respect. Adrenaline Junky being one. Fuck.

SO, dizzy things morning. Feel okay, cold. Nose is running. Letharthgic. Put on some loud SUB HUM MAN at 8am Sunday. Neighbours not hitting the door yet, but then I coudn’t hear them if they were. Fuckoff.

Have an N.A. Meeting on the way to where my child stayed last night. Would be a great idea to see my daughter and have a game of cricket on the bavk yard. But it is wet.  She is nine and seems more interested in I-Pad that MY-Dad anyway. I have to take her bush for a few days. Fuck, it’s happening. Hell or high water, someone remind me of that. Have to, she needs it. I need it.

Only reason I am here is that little girl and making sure she avoids my life. And her mums too. This is an interesting life. It should be not cut short.

 

Warning, I have re-read this page later and realise that I was quite contentedly going very insane. I am not going to edit this page, contrary to my over riding instinct to maintain a semi sensible front. This is what I typed, in this age of digital community it is easy to lose the bad (and good) in the cloud of data that gets re-written each day by the trend and fluctuations of society. Take it for what it is. The aimless ramblings of someone half a second away from becoming plotless (and whom right now has an irratated and slightly infected right forearm laced with blunt razor cuts…… Oooops. Honestly, what the hell….!)

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