29 DaY N.A. MEETING

If you have not figured it by now I have a big interest in mental health and addictions. I think it is empathy. And genuine interest in making a bit of a difference.

I shared with “I was a highly motivated junky – I could go to a new city in a new country with no money and end up fucked as a mutherfucka in half an hour. I could move mountains. I could make thousands a day dealing and wheeling…. I now need to fill an empty void of life with the same energy in a positive manner…” Pretty much it anyway. This girl has nowhere to live and is staying with her ex who still uses, so I gave her my number after. Have had people stay here before, it is cramped but okay. It will be sweet for a while if she did need the room, I could do with a few dollars saved and since she is working and my waking hours are getting back to normal it could be quite bloody useful. Anyway, no biggy. She seemed stoked to actually get a genuine offer. Not just lip service.

It was with some annoyance that at the end of a really good N.A. sharing session this guy pipes up with “the Ward 27 meeting is tomorrow and there is a clean time requirement.” Okay, wasn’t I on that mailing list? I am damn sure the people organising it were there with me last weekend and I gave them my phone number.

I was there at the mental health unit meeting. These N.A that are now telling me I cannot attend WEREN’T EVEN THERE AT THE LOCKED PSYCH WARD MEETING LAST WEEKEND.

I WAS.

I MADE A BIT OF A CONNECTION WITH THE PSYCH WARD RESIDENTS. It felt right, for me and my current mission in life whilst I am “not doing anything”…. 

Then these wankers who weren’t even at the bloody psych ward meeting tell me I cannot attend or speak.

And, who gives a flying pigs bum anyway?

Since when did stupid rules take precedence over peoples real chance of welfare?

N.A is supposed to be about getting people clean. If they cannot see a highly motivated person to help with that in front of their own noses then fuck them. I will go to the A.A meetings (same place, alternating weeks) and N.A and just lie through my teeth and say “NZFiend, Addict / Alcoholic clean for two years” and watch their faces. Or, maybe I could talk to staff and be there as an inpatient advocate. Hahahaha. Sweet. That’ll do me. Hahahahahaha.

“The only requirement for membership is the want to be clean”

Assholes.

N.A. assholes and their stupid politics and retarded way of thanking the programme for everything all the time.

* YOU KEEP YOURSELF CLEAN *

Don’t know how many times you can thank N f’ing A in one meeting, but it makes me want to vomit. Like seriously – Give yourself some credit. YOU have been clean. YOU have done that. Be proud of YOU. It is okay to self indulge in this. Congratulate yourself on being clean for yourself. YOU can do it.

Such a shame they are the only option in Wellington and they are full of self centred assholes pretending to do what is good for others but carry on like just another bunch of back stabbing school girls.

Say it the way it is NZFiend.

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