Doing Nothing…

Don’t know how long I can go on doing nothing like this. Well, I know… It’s not nothing really. It’s something. But it’s something that isn’t going to pay the bills and put me to sleep at night.

Speaking of which, why do the doctors hand out Zopiclone like lollies when they are actually just as addictive (some argue, more so) than standard benzos? I used to be on a lot of Halcion… I have a bit of a secret stash of Midazolam liquid. Am not taking anything if I can help it. The bloody benzo addiction thing is something I can live without. Although the rate at which Zopiclone becomes addictive is alarming. Less than a weeks use can give the user withdrawal effects upon quitting.

Maybe that has some bearing on current sleep oddities. It could even have bearing on the other continued effects that I’ve been putting down to methadone withdrawal.

I know that all these drugs are addictive etc etc etc. Hopefully I’ve been doing what is right for me. At the time it needed.

I feel that the boss has actually been bloody selfish and pig headed with this withdrawal thing.

I know this, as I am the boss. I made the rules. And they have not been bent far.

Doesn’t mean it is easy. But benzo withdrawal is probably a lot shorter than methadone. Bring it on.

Hope I remember this and don’t get too carried away with feeling horrible again. You have to remember things go up and down. It is natural… That is why I am kind of doing nothing in the first place.

Doing nothing is damn hard work. Maybe I will go to N.A. meeting…. So what?!!! Shut up.

 

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