Cold, rainy. But depressed anyway.

Hi again. Don’t have a clue what day I am up to now. Fourty or something I guess. This is unremarkable. Completely. Fourty days straight does get any sort of key ring or matchingly tacky memorabilia of any description.

N.A has been quite helpful lately. I got pushed around playing telephone tag with various agencies, both government and private providers of counselling / psych services. I ended up right back at CCDHB ADDICT DISSERVICES. And then my doctor rung. He is putting my name forward for drug trials in Auckland and also has me down to see a different psychologist/ This is good news indeed. Quite happy with that. Means I don’t have to go run over three policeman to get into a position of assessment and treatment outside of the stupid “drug addiction service” that just wants to put everyone on the methadone in front of their TV’s for ever.

Remember Sam McBrides statement that he feels I should be put on the methadone in order to give me time and space to look at my issues and deal with them. Uhm, Sam, you twat, I know no one who looks at their issues and moves forward with life whilst on the metha drongo juice. You pillock.


Has turned to complete shit again. My ex and I spent half an hour on the phone discussing me giving up drugs again. She then agreed to meet and talk before the next pick up of my daughter. Instead she rings at 1pm and I get an earful of swearing and abuse. Then I go to pick the kid up on Friday afternoon and get a phone call saying “no access, the court has cancelled it.” My ex, let’s just call her “retard paranoid neurotic as fuck bitch” (RPNAFB), has gone and spat the dummy and has, without notice, stopped her daughter seeing her Dad. How does this help the childs brain and development Rebecca? Un real. So now I have court paperwork to do.

I have written thirty five pages on this one submission. This is some sort of a record. That does not even include the 12 pages of text messages, or any of the appendices I am trying to add. The family court judge is going to have a coronary.

Deservedly so.

The title page of the Friday judgement reads “due to the submissions received from daughter and father it is considered in the childs best interests to stop contact immediately and the current custody arrangements are terminated without notice.”

Judge Ellis, NZ Family Court Judge… WHAT THE FUCK? The father (me) and the daughter HAVE NOT EVEN HAD TIME TO SUBMIT ANYTHING.

The first I heard about the whole thing was fifteen minutes before going to pick my daughter up.

Assholes. The lot of you.


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