You don’t have to take everything so literally. Like, just remember I like a laugh as much as the next guy.
Speaking of which, I just saw an old patched gang member guy who works as a builder. I was riding me bike through town to do some paperwork for family court and put my hand through his back window on his work van. The back window is only bubble wrap, so although I went to make a drum noise and annoy him, the hand went through the window and I laughed out loud. He must have got a fright and was spewing. Must not have recognised me and started chasing me around. Hahahahah. Was funny as. But I don’t think he is on the same page on this one. Rung up his work and owned up, apologised profusely for “scaring the driver” and told them I had got some sellotape to fix the damage. The lady on the phone was cracking up. I was like “don’t laugh, this is a very serious matter.” Then we both cracked up. The lady knows damn well who I am talking about… We worked together years ago and have done various court imposed punishments together. Doesn’t mean he likes me though, although he has known me for twenty five years. I guess his ex told him I was better at giving oral than him or something…. Hahahahahah.
Here I am running away from a pissed off tough guy with a van. And then my bike crank goes and snaps clean off. Bugger. It is hard to stay on a bike when one whole pedal just snaps off at the frame. I end up with a sore inside thigh from crashing into a metal bar and a gang member shouting shit at me. Lucky I have headphones blasting some old punk crap and cannot hear him. Good conflict avoidance skills, right there.
I go through building, around the back, leave bike and head up lift. Do court paperwork. No sign of pissed off gang member and sniffer dogs. Hehheheheeh.
I go down to Family Court and show the guy (dumb ass) all the paperwork. He needs it signed, stamped and photo copied. So I sign, he stamps and I go to the post office to photocopy. There is a girl serving, I ask if they do photocopying still. She says, yes, twenty cents a page. I go to the back of the queue and wait. Some dumb ass young punk rockers wait behind me. My headphones are loud, but not that loud. Maybe they can hear Ian Curtis and NOFX, but they are having a laugh in my direction. I take jersey off as is surprisingly hot. The whole queue behind me sees my back covered with tattoos and pimples and whatever else is hanging on back there. The young punk guy goes sits down somewhere else. I get to the front of the queue and apoligise in advance to the nice young lady. She looks up, smiles, takes the paperwork. Comes back five whole minutes later with the copies. I give her five dollars.
“Good luck with all that” she says smiling
I look down, see she is pregnant. Look back up. “Thanks, good luck with that” I say flicking my eyes to her tummy. “oh shit, I have not given you enough money, here’s another ten…”
“Hah, I’ll be fine…” she winks, “and don’t worry about that….” and gives me all the money back.
“Huh? You’re sure” I say, leaving money on counter top.
Another nice smile and wink, “yes, I am sure. Good luck with it….”
“Uh, okay.” Huge smile from me, “thanks, cool.“
Punk rock chick waiting behind looks entirely peeved by this….
“You’re welcome, see you later”
Bloody brilliant. I remember her now. She had something to do with Family Court as well and knows my ex and me. I think she knows my ex more than me… Hmmmm. Cannot quite place her.
That’s what you get for being on drugs all these years. Never fails to amaze me how these people remember me, but me not them. Bloody annoying.
STAY OFF DRUGS. Avoid confusing social circumstance.
FAMILY COURT IS USELESS
Bloody hell, I have just spent three days sorting out paperwork and everything and then the stupid dumb ass HAN rings me after I have gone home…
“I am sori Mr, but I forget filing feeee. You must pay filing feee. Sori. I sori. You must pay filing fee. I forget. Sory.”
“How much is that then?”
“Two hundrid an ninty dollar”
“Fuck off Han, I am on a benefit.”
“You must pay or apply for waiver”
“But Han, I have to stay home all afternoon I am waiting for Telecom to come around and put my internet and phone on”
“You must come in and provide proof of income.”