Just got back from Newtown. Went to Narcotic Anonymous meeting in the locked psych ward. Was good really. Met this young lassy with cuts on her inside arms… I didn’t notice hers until she was staring at my wrist for a while. One time when I was nineteen I decided to cut some shit into myself. A few of the scars are quite dubious if you look long enough. In fact, I was looking at my arms after I saw hers and I saw a lot of little cuts and marks that are very hard to explain. There are a lot of tiny little scars. You cannot even see them. Apart from you can if you look hard. Hmmm….. Where was I?
Ah, this young lassy had fresh razor marks. To a trained eye, such as mine, razor marks. Without intent of suicide. Although combine that with a couple of more substantial ones on the other side and the fact she was admitted for attempted suicide (OverDose) less than a week ago. Well. Uhm. What can you say?
I suppose I shouldn’t have said anything about self harm, watching blood pile up on the floor and switching off to pain. But I did. I suppose I shouldn’t have said that I only gave up drugs a month ago and that I was predisposed towards self harm. But I did. She didn’t mind. In fact I would like to think it did her a bit of good.
Keeping an open mind and being honest. They are the rules, and I am sticking to them. Along with that other rule, what was it? Oh yeah, NO DRUGS.
This young lassy with the scratch marks over her lower arms turned her arms in to herself and did not show them again. She was quite happy to share her story with us. Turns out her child has been taken off her. Her ex called her a drug head and ran away with the kid. She then turned to drugs and drinking. Etc etc etc. Don’t know how original this story is, but it is repeated the world over. Over and over and over and over.
The more a civilisation “civilises” with laws, police and social services, the worse it becomes for families and children.
You cannot argue with that.
In NZ the Maori said it takes two to make a baby, but it takes a village to raise it. Well, they didn’t say that. But that’s what they did. White man with the model of individual home ownership in a nuclear family style has ruined the upbringing and caring of children. And, somewhat worse, has turned good people into complete mental break downs in the process.
I did not get Newtown tattoo’d on my forearm for nothing. Well, come to think of it… Yes, I did. Absolutely nothing actually. I got Newtown tattoo’d on my arm as I had money in my pocket and was going to Kings Cross in Sydney, Australia “just for a look”. First I went through Newtown. Which, to be fair, could have been as bad as Kings Cross. The biker guy who did the Newtown tattoo couldn’t believe I wanted Newtown on my arm. Neither could anyone else come to think of it. And when I asked for it to be as bad as possible, like a jail tattoo gone wrong, the guy just about pulled out his pipe and loaded it up with meth right then and there.
He didn’t. But there would have been good reason to hang around if you were overly that way inclined.
(I still got completely wasted in Kings Cross on crystal meth, smack and alcohol for the record – With $10 of AU coins that were for a hamburger and the train ride home. I still got the train home… Highly motivated waster… I admit it…)