Need cupboard space – Give up drugs

Oops, maybe yesterday was fifty? Whatever. Not sure. Surely not. Not caring, surrender that one over to my higher power… So, walked a few KM’s today. Wanted to pick up Gabors book, SCATTERED (MINDS) and return it to the library. I have loaned it to a few other people. And told plenty more about it. They are all interested. From the senior researcher at the anxiety and associated conditions study, through to the ex-junky in the street who was teaching kids over their holiday period. It is well worth reading. Gabor Maté SCATTERED. Read it, do it quick. No excuses. JUST DO IT. No one home. Went to budget people, got some cans of food, caught bus back to home. Made it home in time for noon news and a lie down. Got up about three. Wrote previous post and then looked around. WHAT A MESS.

Decided to put cans away.

This required looking in cupboards. What a mess. Started sorting out cupboards. Found a bag of potatoes, found a pumpkin in fridge (almost off). Made a soup using those and a bunch of almost off carrots…. Uh, looked in another cupboard….

Sorted out rice packets – found two small bottles with small amount of methadone in the bottom.

Sorted out corn flakes and breakfast stuff – found a pack of porridge I didn’t know I had, one dirty needle and a small bottle of methadone.

Sorted out packets of pasta – found many bags of pasta I didn’t know I had, one dirty needle and a small bag of crystal meth.

Sorted out jam and peanut butter and baking supplies…. Found…..

Yes, well. It continued in this way for a short period. Still have not even looked in some other cupboards that are too low for my back to manage easily. But am convinced the police would find more if they looked hard. I actually know where some benzos are. And some liquid shit that would knock out a horse… Uhm. Anyway, did I mention this is my fifty days of giving up drugs?

So, I am finally throwing out this….

needlesThere is about twenty clean 3mm syringes with 5/8th needles on the end in this box. It started as 100. But hey, when you only use each one once they disappear quick. The yellow container looks like it could get some more dirties in it. But it can’t. I put one in, turned the whole lot upside down and smashed it on the bench. A needle came through the bottom. Oops.

So, I am throwing this away in the bio hazard container receptacle and the Drug Project, Wellington. 233 Willis Street. 04 3828404 Needle Exchange, WIDE, etc etc. Use the safest option…

Beat that. I guess I am a bit serious about giving up drugs after all.

Or, maybe I just needed the cupboard space to tidy my flat so that I can look Gabor in the eye without flinching one day.

ADhD. I am that sort of person. The one who pleases others. I don’t do anything for myself. I look for external influence to control and look after myself. I do better for myself when I have something relying on me. Like a dog. A cat. A furbee.

It is only recently I have thought of this as a character flaw. Damn.

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