I am a special kind of dick-head

Seriously, reading these books by the good Doctor Gabor Maté is starting to piss me off. I read a chapter, think about it for a while and maybe go out and do something. I go talk to people, tell them some interesting facts and figures (that will be forgotten entirely as soon as I pick up the book again) and have a chin wag. Then I go research some other crap (wikipedia mainly… Ahem, cough, splutter) and come up with some earth shattering ideas or ideals and just about go so far as to writing them down.

Then I read the next chapter or two of the books. AND FUCK. There you are. In words that I would never use, and usually coherently, are the thoughts and processes I was formulating myself.

I think I have said before that being good at inventing things is great. But it would be really nice to come up with one original idea that wasn’t already in print a decade ago!

Just one, goddamit. Is it too much to ask?

Maybe god is punishing me for wasting my life as an addict. But, then again, like I have said a million times – If the supply of the drugs (say 300mg of morphine a day) was not an issue, then I lead a nice life. I cope well with 300mg of morphine. It has been proven.

Strangely, I cope just as well with 200mg of crystal meth a day, administered 60-100mg two or three times daily.  Again, the problem is supply really.

The cost of production is nothing. But the street sale price is astronomical. This results in loss of relationship, houses and jail. But if drugs were not illegal in the first place………But anyway, I would be a happy member of society, functioning well and paying my taxes if the drugs weren’t hidden behind a layer or two of criminal enterprise.  Hahahahahahahah. I wish. 

I tell you what, Bruce Alexander probably wishes too. I have not read any of his books yet, but this blog may just stop right now until I do. I am at risk of giving myself RSI from typing stuff that has already been typed.

More importantly, large scale headaches from trying to stay on one subject and think about it.

I *really* am a special kind of dick-head

Oh my fucken god! You are NOT going to believe this… BUT I JUST SAT IN THE BATH and had a bloody EUREKA  moment. This is totally incredible. It shows what a screwball I am.

I was floating my legs and found that my feet would rise if I breathed in deeply.

“That’s strange” I said to myself in my head “you would think the oxygen would have to go to the lungs, into the blood, then into the heart and pumped to the feet. Why are my feet raising when I breathe deeply?”

NZFiend huffs and puffs a few more times and watches his toes go up and down.

“You fucken retard” I say to myself in my head.

NZFiend then pushes out his stomach as though he is breathing (he always uses his stomach to breathe by the way) and, sure enough, his feet raise.

“Turns out”, I say to myself in my head “that the stomach muscles are connected to the leg bones….”

So, anyway, I then start working out how to work out if my legs have fat in them or are they just muscle as they look like? I work out, very very very cleverly I might add, that muscle and fat would have a different weight to mass ratio. Therefore, I could work out how much fat was there compared with muscle by weighing each leg and then dropping it into a bath and seeing how much water was displaced.

YOU FUCKEN REEK A

YOU FUKEN IDIOT

I stopped thinking about it as the phone rang.

If anyone doesn’t know the Eureka story click here.

Yes sireee. A special kind of idiot. Me.

Not a Eureka moment, as such. I more, or less (probably less) HAD *THE EUREKA MOMENT*. Two thousand two hundred years (give or take a decade) after bloody Archimedes, I go and re-invent the wheel again. Is there a term for this? There bloody well should be.

IDIOCY doesn’t do it justice.

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