I was going to ask someone to be my N.A sponsor ages ago, but then figured I was not really all that interested. Someone a week ago offered to be my sponsor (it was about seventy days clean at that point) and I felt too stink to say “NO”, so said “Yeah, I suppose….”
He said “all you have to do is ring me… And get a step working book.”
Needless to say, I have not got a step working book, nor called him. I talked briefly when I saw him in town last night, but no mention of this “sponsorship” thing was made. I know he hasn’t forgotten, I could tell the way he squinted sideways….! Hmmmmmm.
I am all happy reading my own books and research and stuff. I am not sure what it is like for everyone else, but I decided to stop using. And I did. This morning was very boring and almost went and got some drugs. A lot of my drug using friends, whom have been my friends for twenty five years, have a bit of a binge on Saturday and then a quiet Sunday. I would like to just sit somewhere warm, talk some shit and be pleasingly numb for a day. It will pass. But then, writing about it makes me want to swallow some codeine or something. Why have I still got a bunch of opiates here when I am coming off opiates anyway? What sort of an idiot am I?
If I was giving up drinking I doubt anyone would suggest having three or four bottles of spirits on the shelf is to be recommended. Yet, here is me with enough opiates & benzo’s in the house to get quite wasted for the better part of a week.
I still even have clean needles by the front door. I blame ADhD for this. I can’t throw them out, but have not asked anyone if they want them…
… Might watch a movie …
I am so useless at watching movies.
Never thought I would like anything by, or featuring, Stan Walker. But there you are. Bloody great movie. Saw a few people from the old Newtown days in it… King Cabbage as a security guard (even looks like he lost 50kg for the part!) and… Well… Bloody good movie actually. For a New Zealand kind of thing.
Look it up. MOUNT ZION. Very much not at all bad.
Much better than a movie about white junky fucks growing up in Newtown. Although, I tell you what, there could be a good movie in white junky fucks growing up in Newtown. We were a bit of humour at times. Police chases, raids, stolen cars, idiots…
Which brings me to my walk home last night.
We had another 6.6 or 6.8 earthquake yesterday. Was full on. I was talking cars with the owner of a gearbox building place and had just stepped outside to show him my problems matching the V8 box to the inline six when the concrete carpark started moving like a surfboard. No shit, we both had our feet planted like snowboarders… Weight over back foot, knees bent… Riding that concrete. I looked into the workshop and there was a stunned mechanic still under a truck up on the hoist. Fuck that looked bad. We thought he was going to die, for sure. Truck swinging about a metre backwards and forwards with this guy standing under it. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE” the boss yells as he runs in to grab the guy.
Once the quake passes after thirty seconds or so and is now just shaking light fittings and things I say “don’t worry mate, the boss was going to catch that truck for you…..” At which point the boss realised what a stupid thing he was contemplating. Catching a truck to save your worker is above and beyond the call of duty.
(Think about it…)
Yeah, so, the food places were shut and buildings were locked up tight all over Wellington last night. So I walked home early rather than go down and have diner with the N.A crew.
I get over taken by a tall gentleman.
“Hey Nick” says me.
“Oh hi” says Nick.
“What you up to?“
“Ahhh, home sweet home… Yeah those flats are sweet all right. Hahahahaha“
“Yeah, the broke ass natives and their fights…..”
“Hahaha. And the Black Power and the Nomads….“
“Hahahah. Fucken dangerous gangs and alcoholics and drug addicts… Fucken hell….”
“Hahahaha, don’t forget the plain IDIOTS and MORONS.“
“hahahahaha, quite right, quite right.”
“I’m fine with the Maoris, the Nomads, the Black Power, the Junkies, the Alcies and the transvestite prostitutes….
It’s the fucken IDIOTS and MORONS that do my head in mate…“
“Couldn’t agree more old chap…”
Just to clarify, me and Nick are both acknowledged junkies….. Of course. Who else would be able to poke fun at themselves like this anyway?
So, a movie. I think it would be quite entertaining. But no one in the rest of the world would watch it.
They would all find our accents too hard to understand.