I am not anorexic, I just swapped my breakfast for crack.
Just in case you had not worked it out yet, I am an ADhD identifying drug dependant fourty year old white man. I don’t know which of these is worse.
Yes, that is a lower case H. It is that way to signify ATTENTION DEFICIT (hyperactivity) DISORDER.
This makes sense in a number of ways – I have attention deficit. And this is a disorder, both in experience of me and my experience of the world. Hyperactivity is a small side effect of this. In fact, the mother of my daughter once was asked by a judge to say one positive thing about me. Before you could blink she had blurted out “he has amazing energy and is always doing something.”
In future, when the judge asks her to name bad things about me, she could say “he has amazing energy and is always doing something rather than what he should be doing…”
- DRUG ADDICT / DEPENDENT
Using drugs in a manner to improve ones lot in life is one thing, but constantly getting out of hand and becoming unmanageable is another matter entirely.
And then there is the issue with supply and demand. My penchant for gaining PhD in the finer points of “illicit pharmaceutical substance supply chain dynamics ™” via the school of life.
- FOURTY YEAR OLD
And everything that goes with turning fourty soon. Well, it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have arthritis in the spine, Cauda equina syndrome (CES) after effects and a whole bunch of injuries from leading a life with the foot constantly on the go pedal.
Hell, I cannot even build a simple house with shooting myself with nail guns once every two years, falling through floors or roofs twice in six years or filleting my thumb… I was being finger printed the other day at the police station and they take prints from the outside of your hands. I commented on this as being silly. The officer said “no, maybe you leant on a wall or something..?” I said “ah, mate, I don’t think I have ever touched anything with that part of my hand in my life…” I turned to show the other officers… “Look here, it is the only part of my entire body without pronounced scaring…”
Combine this with the ADhD fourty year old trait of having stiff, inflexible joints and you have a picture of a sixty year old man whom has had a hard life.
- WHITE MAN
Contrary to popular culture myth, the middle aged white man is not a good thing to be. Well, it isn’t if you aren’t a fat, Audi driving, suit wearing, pompous fuck head.
You get shat upon by all manner of people. I get shat on by the ingenious culture for not being black enough. I get shat on by the corporate world for not being corporate enough. I get shat on by females, however much some people may get off on that, I don’t. The only people I don’t get shat on by is the society drop outs and drug addicted. And that is probably because they are too busy shitting on themselves.
I am on the Maori electoral roll in New Zealand. I keep my Maori bit hidden well under my Scottish Irish exterior.
I will be write back after this song from local Wellington group, Trinity Roots…
The biggest problem of all these is 1) ADhD. The drugs would help me with that. Keep me under control a little. Since giving up drugs I have been using a lot of caffiene. By a lot, I mean quite a bit. Like, I have a cup of really strong coffee at 10pm before bed. And I sleep well. This is a major discovery for me actually. Am very happy about this.
Am having trouble working out what to do with my broken skinny white ass. Long term.
Hopefully the latest person from the medical profession will be some use. I am meeting a head boss psychiatrist man and his registrar at 3pm on Monday. Hope Sam McBride has forwarded some of my emails containing posts from this blog.
Would be nice to walk in and know that they have a heads up. Saves me doing it.