I now know some people actually read some of this writing. I know this because I put a feedback form on the last post, and some people replied. 100% of the people actually were basically N.A walking, talking, breathing N.A adverts. That is fine.
As I have said all along, before ever going to an N.A meeting… Rule number one, is never talk about fight club. But, wait, that was a different fable… Rule number one of this fabulously fabricated fiendly fable was “keep an open mind.”
Which, prey tell, I am attempting.
I am not 100% on N.A, the concepts of higher powers etc etc etc. As discussed previously, A.A and subsequent twelve steps programmes all come from a pretty staunch church sect and they insist that addiction is a disease.
(Please see (got-a-new-key-ring) post from last week…)
But, all these problems with N.A and the foundations of their movement (fellowship, whatever) still don’t mean that I will stop going or that I hate it that much. I gave two people my number this week as they wanted help with various things. At my ninety day clean time key ring thing someone started commenting about how good I was at the Mental Health Locked Ward meeting, showing unbelievable patience and empathy. I think they mean in comparison to my usual impatience and random abusive outbursts.
These meetings are every second Tuesday through the double air-lock security at the mental health unit.
I like these meetings a lot.
In the first place I was not meant to be allowed to attend due to “lack of clean time.” But, I simply said I would lie and claim years of clean time. In the end we worked out a way around the strict rules and regulations set down by N.A with regards to H+I (hospital and institution) meetings whereby I could attend.
And, I am bloody glad I do. Have been to every one since walking in the doors of N.A three months ago.
Sometimes I make a real connection there. On a couple of occasions the more senior members have even said “thank fuck you were there. You’re awesome…” Obviously it helps having walked the streets of Newtown and Wellington from a young age. Although not meeting anyone I actually know in the wards, I have met a lot of people whom I could have known.
Which brings me to my point for the morning….
What is the Point?
Someone at N.A who is quite a “leader” if given half an opportunity (yeah, he can be bossy) has come to a few of these Mental Health meetings and took it upon himself to raise the issue of needing more people to go during another meeting. He tried handing out fliers advertising the meeting and the twelfth step which says “we can only keep what we have by giving it away” which roughly translates to “do some service for others”.
* I AM DOING THIS SERVICE FOR OTHERS BECAUSE I DAMN WELL WANT TO, FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT, AND **GENUINELY** HELP OTHERS *
I do not do it because it is a rule in a N.A book.
The stigma is quite amazing actually.
At the start of the “Locked Ward” meeting I stick up the N.A signs and twelve step rules on the wall and the mental health patients all run a mile. “Narcotics” are bad. They are not on “narcotics”. They are all just addicted to benzo’s, crystal meth, pot, beer, spirits, methadone, morphine or poppy. They are not narcotics addicts, no fucking way! They stay away in their droves!
At the end of the Newtown N.A meeting Mr ‘Clean Time’ tries to hand out N.A pamphlets for the mental health ward meeting. “No way are we going to a mental health ward. I have trouble even driving past it, never mind stopping at it” was one ladies reaction. Others had a quiet word to me outside later and all were fairly sure that the mental health unit was a complete no go. There is no way they are associating with mental health, no fucking way! They stay away in their droves!
Well, fuck me Batman.
What’s that Robin?
I think, what we have here is a paradoxical human environment.
Get off the crack you Lycra wearing wanker.
What I mean to say is, my esteemed capped crusader, that all the people whom identify as “addicts” every day at N.A meetings are constantly saying that they are “fucked in the head” and are left with all these strange thoughts, suicidal feelings, feel like they are left out of society, have problems socialising, have been abused, have been………………
Fuck Robin. I am getting the picture…
Do I have to explain more for the American audience Batty boy?
Don’t fucken bother toss pot. No one from America would read this far anyway.
Help me Obi-Wan, for you are our only hope.
Dude, you are not Princess fucken Lea from Star Wars. Although, those tights are quite fetching….
Some pictures then, thanks to ixquick.com, the worlds most private search engine…
I have said it a few times here, the whole “recovery industry” thing is driving me up the wall.
There are people at the top of the game whom speak at the likes of TED conferences but then there are the many whom are just writers or pushers of a narrow philosophic field that works fine for people whom it works fine for. But advertising your book as “recovery that works” is crazy talk.
You belong in the ward I visit every second Tuesday.
Bring back the stigma.
It is *NOT* cool to be a recovering addict. It is the first step.
The next step for the problematic addict is to deal with the emotion, the bi-polar, the ADhD, the PTSD, the depression, anxiety, social issues, OCD, strong phobias, ASPD…… Hell, some are even left handed!
Just about every letter of every acronym in the mental health dictionary shows up at every N.A meeting.