ADDICTION. It really is a growth industry

gardening

The “recovery industry” (as I termed it) is full of flakes, pushovers and doctrine pushers. You may remember my original thought (I know, I know, no one really follows this writing, I am merely humouring myself with the intent of reminding my soul that it is worth something) that the recovery industry has grown, arguably degenerated, from all the self help “men are from mars and women fucken aren’t” style publications.

We, as an ever increasing addicted populace, are feeding these idiots with more fodder to sell their free market, global economy loving doctrines to.

With the free market (or capitalist society) comes what I originally thought of as disassociation. After three months of exhaustive research (I read a book) it is now being termed “dislocation” by the scholars of the present day.

Dislocation from society, family, friends. Again, I have said it before, but the indigenous people of New Zealand were living a lot like other people before the market driven lifestyles forced them into a state of life they neither wanted, asked for, nor respected.

And, with bloody good reason.

The levels of imprisonment, addiction, abuse amongst indigenous people displaced by money loving white assholes like you and me… Well… You pick any country in the world where the capitalist movement has taken over.  New Zealand has the second highest rate of imprisonment in the world, behind USA. This is actually not a good thing. It is estimated by some people in much better jobs and research departments than I that over 50% of the prison population would provide positive ADhD test scores. Combine this with other mental health issues, including drug addiction, and you would be fairly hard pressed to find a handful of people in jail who do not meet the qualifying factors of serious mental health difficulties.

Antis

ocial Personality Disorder anyone?! Just saying…

Look at all the addictions doing the rounds at the moment.

We have everything from “weightlifting addiction” through to “sexaholics“. If those don’t float your boat, try gambling, food, tanning, games, or even buying classical CD’s and having to hide them from your wife. Personally, I would like to have an addiction to buying old NZ Punk records and having to hide them from my house full of sex crazed punk chicks. But alas, there are far too many obstructions in the way of that little dream… Not knowing any sex crazed punk chicks being quite a large one.

Plenty of others to chose from though. Join the trend, take your pick. Anything will do. All you need to do is identify that a particular action is to work out which part of the addiction spectrum you fall into –

  1. Overwhelming involvement that is harmful to the addicted person, to society, or both
  2. Like 1, but not overwhelmingly harmful to addicted person, society, or both 
    (self medicating pain with drugs for instance?)

I never believed in the term “addictive personality”, although this has changed over the years. I am a big believer in we make our own paths through the maze of life. Who we are is partly genetic. Genetics provides the playing field – lumpy, straight, long grass, hard and fast… But the game played on the field is made up by arguing teams of who you are. How you have dealt with hurt. How you have dealt with love. How others have reacted to your reaction. These set the rules of the game to be played on the genetic playing field. The rules change. As any good sport, it will develop to keep up with the times.

 

Football (soccer) used to be played by chopping off someones head and kicking it through goals on the walls of the village / castle. This has developed into a sport that now uses cutting edge camera technology to determine if a synthetic globe has crossed the line into a synthetic net or not. The reason it uses this million dollar system is simple. Millions of people bet millions of Euro’s on the ball doing just that. When a referee, whom is only human after all, declares the ball did not cross the line, hundreds of thousand of people lose a serious amount of money. 

And David Beckams endorsement deals go down. We can’t have that. What will all the celebrity follower addicts do then? Revert to MDMA abuse?

So, addictive personality. 

From the test section of this blog, I am type 7 according to my Enneagram Test … This is not really all that flash news for the little kid inside me who is refusing to believe that it will ever be addicted to anything…

  • Type 7 The Enthusiast
    The type most prone to addictions: stimulants (caffeine, cocaine, and amphetamines), Ecstasy, psychotropics, narcotics, and alcohol but tend to avoid other depressants. Wear body out with effort to stay “up.” Excessive cosmetic surgery, pain killers.

This is not so good. My daughter is probably type 7 too. Eeek.

Anyhooooooooo….. I am getting bored. What was the point again? You see, if I had a decent interviewer interviewing me, they would keep me on track a lot better than writing to oneself on WordPress. Kind of goes without saying. Keeping myself on track, or any sort of defined road for that matter, is complicated enough. I am off to make another strong coffee and put on some FLESH D-VICE. That’s better. Hamburger ][ playing loud. Awesome. Now, where was I again? That’s right. Getting coffee. Guess what? Found a really strong cold coffee next to the computer mouse. Ooops. Drunk that, cold and now waiting for another to brew. ADhD much? Or, is ADhD just an excuse for being lazy and annoying? That is another post.

 

So, bugger me. This Enneagram crap might be onto something after all. Have a surf around their site www.enneagraminstitute.com – recommend it.

At the end of the day – Those of us with problematic pasts turn out to be annoying little left handed bastards with addiction issues. Unfortunately one addiction is completely interchangeable for another. I always found it odd how I could swap heroin for crystal meth and suffer no withdrawal even though the drugs would appear to be opposite to eachother. Even when not an “addict” I was an “addict.”

Extreme sports, alcohol, sex, risk taking, shoplifting, crazy fast car driving, super crazy fast mountain bike riding, absolutely insanely fast motorbike usage, self harm, eating, not eating (got down to 55kg 120pounds once – I am 182cm / 6ft tall male…), gym, training, football, computers, games… Hell, add wanking to the list… Opiates, photography,
amphetamines, work, sleeping pills, television, REPAIRING CARS, a small gambling issue, going to N.A meetings…

=Recovery or Discovery???

Quite some time ago I made an earth shattering announcement that I was moving from a phase of “finding who I am” without drugs, to “finding whom I am going to be” without drugs.

I wish more people would do this.

Myself included. When I remember, that is.

Fuck being a recovering addict for ever. How boring is that anyway? Going along to meetings and claiming to be an addict for ever, when you have not actually done anything addictive for years? You are so busy on the lookout for doing anything addictive that you don’t lead a life. You are a little robot. A good little robot. But an unhappy one.

Recovery MUST move to Discovery. Addiction helps soothe, or gloss over, issues or emptiness. Work out what these are and how to manage them. Acknowledge you are an addict, and maybe have a look in the mirror. Are you really going to be happier at 125kg of pure muscle? Is putting on that extra 5kg across your chest really worth the six months of chicken breast and thousands of dollars and time away from developing relationships outside the gym?

Addiction should be kept manageable.

There is no quick answer here. You must find a place in society and do some good with yourself. It is a whole balancing act that seems damn near impossible for those of us with this personality trait.

Addiction is to be enslaved to a master. Use it to your advantage. Once the master is using you, it is time to jump ship. 

And go buy a recovery book. Maybe a CD or two. Just remember to hide them from the wife.

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