Whilst in the grips of large ADHD mentality and drug use all my piles of car parts and assorted debris were all piles of potential. Now I am seeing them as others see them. Piles of problems, difficulties and complication.
Have been taking 40mg of the Ritalin (methylphenidate) each morning. Along with the piles of drugs for the drug trail people, I just about don’t need to eat any toast in the morning. I feel full enough just with all the damn pills floating about in the 300ml of water they make you drink.
I am missing part of myself still. The warped energy levels, the need to do something creative 24/7… The actual requirement to be always on the “get up and go” has almost got up and gone without me. Yeahp, it’s true, my “get up and go” got up and went. I am sitting at the train station waiting for the next train. And you know what? I don’t even care if the train is running late or not. AND I am sitting on the platform without shaking my feet, moving my hands or working out more efficient ways of train propulsion. Who the hell is this guy?
But, it is what it is.
There are benefits too.
Like being in court the other day. I ended up getting a $700 fine for “failing to remain” (police may or may not have said “NZFiend, you are under arrest”) and “careless driving” (police evidence I chased him up the road with my car and he had to sprint and dive roll over his car to use his car as a barrier between me and him was somewhat exaggerated I feel). The original charges were much more serious, but they reduced it to this bunch of garbage due to problems with witnesses wanting to come to court. The police bitch, Lisa Politini (spelt slightly wrong so you cannot do Google on her and abuse her….) did not come to court. All her crap about me resisting arrest, threatening assault, assaulting police, obstruction…. All that crap was dropped. It is hard to prove crap like that when you don’t even come to the court room.
So, I stood in the court, and for the first time in my life I just stood in court. I didn’t walk up and down, I didn’t lean over the dock to read the prosecutors notes, nor did I take a pen and paper and draw rude pictures of the jury / judge / police / bullshit witnesses. I just stood there. The policeman had to stand next to me at one point as judge asked him a direct question, I turned my head slowly and looked at him with non blinking curiosity. Some may say (him included) that he found this somewhat off putting. Too bad. He wouldn’t have found it as off putting as me waiting for him to try walking through doorways around the court building and then walking through the door at the same time so he had to keep stepping back and getting out my way. It’s a good game to play. Highly recommend it. Another one is to focus about three inches to the left of their head and keep walking into them. But I digress….
Some of the prison guards whom have to sit next to you in the dock still have some of my drawings from previous trials. They even went and got me McDonalds and pizza and stuff during breaks in the trails as a kind of “payment” for the drawings I was doing. My lawyer thought I was taking a lot of notes and was somewhat taken aback when he asked to see them and there was a almost photographic quality pencil and pen drawing of the judge bending over his bench being slapped on the ass with his gavel by the female police prosecution lawyer. Hahahahaha.
I am a bit different. Which is a shame.
I am a bit different. Which is possibly going to be awesome.
The jury is out.