All apologies

Today I made sure I had nothing to do all morning. I got hold of the girl from yesterday and wanted to make good. Started well enough. Got her from A to B to C and then had hours to kill. So we did whatever for an hour. I decided to drive somewhere in the illegal Ford car. Got stopped by police.

In half a second I had an escape route planned. I computed the weight of the car (1950kg with some tools), it’s power, how long the automatic gearbox would last, my tyre wear and current tyre pressure (corner handling characteristics) the gradient and nature of corners and camber of the nearest escape route, the speed of the highway patrol car, the amount of fuel left. At this point in time I was considering it was possible to keep going. But my hands were already steering the car to the side of the road. There is no fucken way I could have driven off with this passenger here.

The cop, for some odd reason, repeated four or five times “thanks for stopping” and made sure to say “please, you are required to remain, thank you.” I noticed he did not move out his drivers seat unless I was away from the vehicle. Hahahah. Anyway, after half an hour at the side of the road he claimed the police computer wasn’t working and he didn’t know who I was or anything. But he repeated “thanks for remaining” two or three times and also said “really good of you to stop so promptly” a number of times.

What the hell?

It is the law officer.

Of course I always stop for the red and blue lights.

“Uhmmmm….” says the officer.

“Yeah, okay. So I usually just turn the stereo up and move my mirrors. That way I am not legally obligated to stop because I cannot see, nor hear your attempts to stop me. I have only ever been chased by the police once. And you caught me… Hahahahahaha”

“Uhm, thanks for stopping… And for waiting so long. As you can appreciated I could have been writing out an entire hardback novel of tickets for you…”

“I would have expected something more biblical length…”

“Uhm, yes. Well, here is your ticket. $750 and demerit points. You only just got your license back so the demerit points should be fine…”

So, the computer is down, but he knows I have a long history of driving off and only just got my licence back… YEAH RIGHT!

He pink stickers the car and tells me I must drive it directly home via the fastest route. I tell him I need petrol, so not to be concerned when he sees me going the opposite way up the motorway. He says he will sit in the carpark for two minutes before leaving (where he cannot see which way I turn onto the motorway). Cheers mate.

Unfortunately the girl then decides that we are heading straight home and has a little panic when she demands to be dropped off in town and I say “no”. I was having a nice relaxing day forgetting about my worries and trying to make amends for fucking up yesterday. After a brief argument (we both have ADHD so interruptions from both sides is common!) we drive in the general direction of home (as per police instructions) and I take great delight in driving past police and pointing at the pink sticker. She was not amused. The look on the police faces as you point at a sticker which means your car should be impounded is classic.

Legally speaking the police guy could have made us walk and get the car picked up. So all good.

We went and walked, got some lunch, sat in sun and drove back to town slowly.

So, I have no car now and had to get picked up to play squash. My first squash game ever. Years ago I did swing a tennis racquet once or twice. For about twenty minutes. But I was once pretty handy with a cricket bat. Squash is just like one handed cricket. But you can back hand. My backhand was shit. I even tried doing a forehand backhand (failed) to compensate. I play squash right handed as it happens. Another thing to add to the left vs right list.

My back is stuffed. My shoes were slipping. And I lost by huge margins. But I genuinely won some points here or there and had a bloody good time for the hour we spent. Will have to do it again real soon, before my body seizes up.

Well, bugger me. There is another blog post. And I went to one N.A meeting a day for the last week. I might go tonight too.


Fuck that is depressing. I need a life back.

And, speaking of that… The mother of my daughter has offered me 10am-5am access on Saturday fortnights. I would love to see my daughter, but we are in court proper in only a few weeks.

I am afraid that if I accept that offer it will become a standard and the Family Court will simply continue that arrangement. 7 hours a fortnight based around my Mum and Dads house is not on. Get stuffed. I am not accepting that.

It felt good to send the lawyers an email saying “no, see you in court”.

Besides which. I am in Auckland on the dates specified. So too bad.



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