In Auckland.

I hate this rubbish. No eating from previous night, then up at 5.30 to fly here and get to place by 9.30.

I hate it.

I hate the nurse who cannot put the lines in my arms properly and so I have really sore big bruises inside my skinny wrists.

I hate the amount of blood they have to take out.

I hate the way you can only eat a couple of bits of toast and then cannot so much as drink water for four hours.

I hate the way I feel light headed like I am about to faint all the time.

I hate the idiot with no hair and stupid jail tattoos who is hogging the tv. He doesn’t even leave it on one channel for thirty seconds. Watched him for five minutes, gave him a OCD ADHD diagnosis and decided against causing some scene over the tv. Just can’t be bothered. Id love to, he is playing the “big man” amongst a few little people there.  But no, no point. Tv sucks anyway.

I hate the way they can neither confirm nor deny the effects of the drugs. I do not know if my sleep deprivation is my ADHD, my Ritalin or these drugs. But they just asked me a hundred questions about sleep, including dreams. These questions were asked from a standard form. So I guess these drugs have something to do with it.

I hate feeling like I am going through some weird withdrawal all the time.

I love the fact my viral load has gone from 12804615 to 256. No shit. Twelve million virus RNA IU per ml to only two and a half hundred.

I love the way they say that by the end of the day it should be below measurable quantities.

I hate the way the say I need to keep it below measurable quantities for three months.

I hate thinking this feeling of crap will be another three months.

I hate this wordpress app on my old android 2.

I am undecided about going from 89kg to 81kg in three weeks. 4kg in last week alone.


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