“JUST FOR TODAY”
“JUST FOR THE NEXT HOUR”
“JUST FOR THE NEXT ZERO POINT ONE SECOND”
Went to N.A meeting last night. Think that is nine this year. Ninety nine days so far this year. Was a good thoughtful meeting. Had a great day yesterday. Felt enthusiastic about the whole drug recovery and policy change thing again. Don’t quite know how to fit into that world, but am very comfortable talking about all aspects of such subjects with all walks of life.
Saw a City Mission guy… Was given little cards to hand out to homeless people with a list of help agencies… Was encouraged to continue various little thought processes by people right up the top of the food chain.
Walked home from meeting, saw a lady just out of prison. Chatted to her about her kids and staying clean.
Saw the old boss of a very nasty notorious gang. This gang split from another nasty gang as the first nasty gang was not nasty enough. I know the bosses of both. We stopped and chatted for an hour outside supermarket. He’s in a new relationship. He has worked out he has ADHD. So does the kid – hers – and he, without prompting, opened up he was off drink and drugs for almost nine months. He’s a little bored. But things are starting to happen for him. Legal things even. I tell him my theory of being a teenager for twenty years and turning into a fourty year old over night. We share a few parenting tips for ADHD kids. I do half a gansta handshake. I am a skinny white man with no gang ties. I think it shows more respect to not do the complete thing. We do the half hug thing, right chest to right chest. Some people pass whom know me, or know me through my spiritual advisor. They nod, maybe a little surprised seeing me with this larger than life gang guy. But then, they should not be.
Drugs, dealing, lifestyle – you would be more surprised by whom you DON’T see than who you do.
Just that you think most of them are fuckwits. “Even addicts hate addicts” (Marc Lewis maybe?)
Got home from N.A meeting just in time to watch the local Chinese brothel millionaires on TV making idiots of themselves…
Fired up the old computer and found messages from the authors of a couple of books mentioned on this blog.
Seriously lost sleep to ADHD style thinking all night. Really should take pen and paper to bed. If I solved the answer to life the universe and everything, I now forget it. Silly billy.
“You don’t have to be actively addicted to bounce between heaven and hell.”
No, kind sir, you sure don’t. But having awareness and knowledge of heaven and hell may lead to some sort of bungy rope in between.
Ritalin may not be it.
However states can slowly overcome traits. Just give it time. And remember to breathe.