Kids football

I am my kids football coach.

I had joint counselling with the mother of my daughter on Wednesday. This was the day my sister died a year ago. Counselling session was odd.

We spent more time discussing me being football coach than our relationship.

It actually makes perfect sense.

Dealing with all the interactions, stresses, events and…. Hell… That is just dealing with the parents and supporters. 

The kids… The kids are something else!

Saw a friend of a friends daughter and found she was into footy too. Ideas about having a kick around and helping at training were thrown around. I could have done with the help. Twenty kids. One me. 

It could be dangerous.

At least there has been no charges laid over pulling knives and threatening any of the little shits!
Maybe that bit of paperwork is lost in the mail.

But, am doing well enough. It has moments, sure. I have been honest with the kids.

“You aren’t listening”

Yes we are

“No, you weren’t. You did that completely wrong. Now I am getting annoyed. You are not listening and are actually lying to me.”

A couple of mothers there (well to do young house wife types with BMW S.U.V’s) started looking a bit sideways. But then their kids got the hang of it, and I was clapping and saying “bloody awesome. About damn well time, but awesome.” I have a habit of tapping their heads or shoulder when am happy or proud of them. Not sure what the parents think of that. Don’t care. The kids have learnt a little tap on the head as I run past means something good. I may not instantly say “WELL DONE JIMMY” but ten seconds later Jimmy will get a tap on the shoulder and a quick wink and grin.

At the end of all trainings and games I make sure to congratulate any players there on some of the good things. “Nice running back to support the defence- you thought of that all by yourself – good vision”…..


And then there was an email…

[my kid]’s really enjoying having you as coach and is enjoying his football. Thanks for your encouragement of him, and for the effort you put in.



Thanks for that. Much appreciated.
Feel I have been thrown in the deep end with no personal floatation devices at times…. Unfortunately, with such little time together (and even less now they expect me to take Villa AND Aces for training!!!!) there are always going to be problems with not enough attention to individual kids needs and developments. This is to be expected, but is, nonetheless, annoying.
This weeks training was all about accurate mid range kicking and passing. A few of the ACES are terrible listeners (having only met me twice – They will learn!) and training was not as positive as hoped.
If kids are playing up too much and not listening to clear instructions after a few attempts, the offenders started having their balls kicked away (by me) and they had to go retrieve them. ……….. [your child] see’s a lot of what goes wrong and complains about it. But then he has also tried to offer advice and encouragement to improve mistakes he see’s in others play. Peers often criticise me for seeing everything that is wrong (products, architecture, other peoples character traits.!.!.) but I honestly remember the good things more than the bad. By seeing the errors (the bad) we can improve and change.
It is a true idiot that does the same thing time and again expecting different results.
I will continue kicking their balls away. I can a kick fair way. Sometimes this results in pain killers, hospital stays and spine (nuero) surgery. So, although would love to kick the ball clear over the field and into maze, the kids are safe from that.
I will make it clear that they are to dribble the ball back, swerving and passing. Or something…. Turn a little “punishment – time out” into a football “skills exercise”…

Sure, being a football coach needs some level of football knowledge [PASS].

Being a kids football coach requires personal management, political smarts, project leadership degrees, child psych’ papers, a few books from Gordon Nufield and hours of watching shows such as “Extreme Nanny”…

I just wish the guy who runs the clinics for us poor coaches had the same. He has football skills. He has no ability to keep us, as interested volunteers, interested.

And tonight, while most are out partying, listening to loud music and picking up people to fuck badly before falling to sleep in ten minutes, we coaches of junior football shall be listening to him for three hours. 

May need some drugs.



Say something, we want to know...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s