To live life on your own terms, you have to be prepared to crash and burn

Living life on life’s terms is not my nature.

Spent an hour with the nice detective whom told me the police were taking me to court for some crap. Had a good discussion, but no result. We will be going to court. Witnesses will be called. This is not good. Why (how) the fuck did they get involved? Why (how) would anyone even bother?

Why – Because the police have long memories.

How – Because people are idiots, talk shit and don’t know the consequences of their big mouths are far worse than just keeping their mouths shut in the first place. Fucken stupid. Absolutely. Trust me on this one.

Had good discussion with pig guy. Laughed hard a few times. I know damn well I have been lucky (good risk management strategies – create your own luck) over the years. They seem to have it in their head that NZFiend was once a reasonable suspect in the case of finding Wellingtons biggest drug dealer. I know damn well that having spent only a year or so in jail that could not be the case. All my closest friends from those days, and many other known acquaintances hence have spent 6-10 years. In the last few years there have been newspapers reports of a few old very close acquaintances being found with assets and cash and drugs that were impossible to explain.  Just today the guy living across the courtyard came up and told me how he had been ripping off doctors and chemists. Will leave the details out, but getting away with thousands of benzo / barb’s is going to get him in a little trouble. He knows full well the methadone people will screw with him. He knows he will get arrested eventually. Thousands of benzo’s at $10 a pill. How much crashing and burning is that worth to you?

To live life on life terms you have to be prepared to crash and burn. We all accepted that. We still do.

Would be fucken nice to simply CRASH AND BURN. Rather than death via a thousand cuts on every trivial little happening for the next twenty years. 

Some doors that were opening for me are now shut. Probably changing my current course in life. Something I could be good, and useful at.

I am to blame for my own actions. But this far outweighs my actions. This is just plain stupid.

Did not even get annoyed. Did not care.

Will see you all in court. I have $8000 in fines to pay anyway. If found guilty, they will give me 100 hours community work and put my fines back to zero.

Guess that is something to be sincerely grateful for.


But then, yesterday, after getting the SPACE INVADERS characters tattoo’d on my left forearm, I stopped for a burger on the way home at the oldest joint in Newtown – GoldenBowl or somecrap…

Had serious cleaning up at home to do so my pre-diabetes avoiding diet went out window.
One burger – one bit of fish, egg, salad in a carbohydrate bun.
Fuck you diet! Diet may be DIE with a T on the end Garfield, but DIE;A-BET-EZ is worth shutting the fuck up for.

Waiting for my burger and some too cool for school Maori boys notice my angry birds tattoo’s. They have gang insignia tattoo’s on their faces. If you are not from New Zealand seeing gang patches in real life colour covering kids faces may seem like a bad movie.

The gang insignia moved somewhat and something that could be confused for a smile appeared.

I was more interested in the bloody old computer game they had in the corner.

NO SHIT says I, to no one in particular.

Get stares from Gang Kids…


More stares. Slightly less attempts of intimidation eyes…

CHECK THIS SHIT OUT. Just got Space Invaders tattoo’s and these old Chinese buggers still have a Spacies machine… Here, take a photo for me…

“Fuck bro, that is something….. ” pause “was going to say special. But nah bro. It’s just something.”

Life has moments. Chose it.

Space Invaders tattoo


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