Medications and Numbness

Due to issues with Police (and my ability to attract them) “we” had a revue regarding the ADHD medication. “They” decided to change it to Concerta or something. This has me nervous.

I will not go on methadone programmes, or similar, as they become your life. You have to consume THIS MUCH no matter if you are busy, sick, injured or just plain not requiring it that day. You take it, your daily routine is managed by it. You are in limbo. You are, in effect, a problematic addict. Methadone, and the god’s that prescribe it, are your masters.

“They” demand I take this Concerta once a day rather than split dosing my old Ritalin. This has me nervous.

On Tuesdays I have my football coaching. Delaying the dose of 20mg slow release Ritalin from 10am until 1 or 2pm allows me to be a little better with the problems of dealing with twenty hyperactive ten year olds.

I feel “they” would rather me be doing some “Largactil / Thorazine shuffle” rather than allow me a little leeway to go “up” and “down” as per normal human states…

We experience the emotion and react accordingly, shaping our lives and relationships. We rarely focus on the complexities that drive the emotion, so we miss what it is trying to alert us to. We treat the emotion as if it were a problem to be solved by our 21st century brain, existing as we do in a world of primarily cerebral rather than physical challenges. We seem to have lost the innate ability to, for want of a better phrase, deal with our feelings.

Emotions want us to feel. That’s why they’re there. Their purpose is not to drive us to think about how to solve a problem, rather they try to get us to experience the problem. It turns out that simply by learning to turn our attention onto Now, we dramatically improve our ability to cope, not just mentally but physically too. Even the structure of our brains can change as a result. Just by focussing on Now. By becoming aware.

Tony Burkinshaw

Am feeling a little powerless over this. If I don’t take it there may be conflict and grief. Yet, if I do, there may be a flatline and an even further loss of my creative processes.

Crashed my car in the wet. Needs a lot of work. Need those creative processes.


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