Twenty years since legally being an ADDICT, yet they still rape me

Positivity is good. Socialisation is good. Everything is good other than being labelled a non performing economic unit.

Non performing economic unit.

My back is sore. Prognosis for recovery is nil. Therefore “they” offer advice such as “take up swimming with a flutter board”. They do not offer the use of the government funded hydrotherapy pool. They do not offer me a card for a discount swimming pool, nor do they direct me to a subsided gym. My prognosis is bad. Why would they bother trying to reduce my pain level and increase my ability to live life? Makes no economic sense.

Or does it?

My back is sore. I just about took some opiates this week. It is that bad. Rolling from one side to the other in bed is causing me to yell with pain. I am definitely NOT following the PAIN MANAGEMENT SERVICES advice to take nerve slowing drugs before bed. It means I can sleep the night. But it means the spine inhabiting my body can tolerate staying in one place over night. This ruins me for the next day.

You would think these people would listen to you.

You would think these people would read your file.


Multiple times this has been proven. “They” (represented by whichever “specialist” they point in your direction) know you have a tick in the “addict” box. The addict box looks exactly like your anus. And the tick looks exactly like the cheap strap on dildos they got a group discount on via Ebay.

I have been trying, without success, to get away from this over ruling diagnosis for years. It is twenty years since I was on the methadone maintenance programme. I crashed motorbikes into cars at 100km/h… I am in pain. I have ADHD. Is it any wonder I became a drug addict? Along with other issues… And yet “ADDICT” over rules my proper health care and treatments. They are IDIOTS. This is one of the problems of looking at addiction as a DISEASE. They think it is a DISEASE and they have treatment options for that DISEASE.

I say, even if it is a disease, that ADDICTION IS CAUSED BY SOMETHING. Therefore the disease is a symptom. Until they start thinking like this, we are all being bent over various odd devices, tied down, and screwed.

I have not reported to them as a problematic addict for decades, and yet…. Well… Do I need to repeat myself every week? I think I do…

I go to hospital with pain. The Accident and Emergency department give me opiates. When admitted to the ward overnight, they give me opiates. I refuse some and take minimal. I find this keeps me moving and helps me tolerate things. Until it gets too tiring and laying down is the only thing possible…

Then the CADS (now known as Addiction Services) team wake up, look at their computers and tell the doctors and specialists that good old innocent NZFIEND is a drug addict. 

The service from the nurses changes. The opiates are taken away without explanation. The nurse demands I take meds that could just about kill me. They have not read my file, have not asked me… Have not put one and one together. Stomach ulcers and other internal complaints could dictate NOT taking certain drugs they forced me to take before they would bring back the doctor.

The doctor, as it happens, was a good young guy. I chewed his ear off about addictions, drugs of abuse and pain management for a couple of hours. He learnt a lot, but in the end of the day referred me to ADDICTION SERVICES. Not a back specialist. Not a neuro surgeon. Not a free swimming pool. 

I agreed to the meeting simply so that it would be possible to chew the ear off whomever was game enough to meet with me.

Turns out ADDICTION SERVICES rang a little later and “due to the urgent nature of the request we are offering you a meeting with the janitor of the toilet block”… There is no point chewing the ear off that guy. I need Tom Flewett, esq, at my service. Not the bloody janitor.

Told them to shove their meeting.

Me and Tom will meet again. I have a spy camera function on my phone for such an occurrence.

Recently they removed my ADHD Ritalin and replaced with Concerta. This did not work well. I am GUILTY until proven INNOCENT. But this is not a court of law. This is the public health service.

“They” do whatever they have in mind for you.

It does not matter what you say they have already signed the papers changing your stuff. They just need to see you in order to fill legal obligations of a “consultation”…

If a specialist or doctor is not reading your file or paying close attention try one of NZFIENDs patented techniques…

  1.  Continue talking in same tone
    (I have trouble sleeping and……)
  2. Change subject
    (therefore I go mountain bike riding)
  3. Be very obnoxious
    (before downloading pictures of your kids and masturbating)

Having completed this sentence (I have trouble sleeping and therefore I go mountain bike riding before downloading pictures of your kids and masturbating) you will notice that the doctor or specialist is still intently paying you attention. Yet nothing you say has made it past the ears, eyes or other sensory inputs the brain requires to process this into thoughts or memories. A few seconds later the doctor or specialist may blink and look slightly confused as you have stopped talking and his / her brain tries to think of a response to whatever it was you just said.

In one case the doctor / specialist said “I feel you should give it a go for a week and get back to me”


A little success was achieved by asking for my complete file. I have asked for this verbally. Have explained why I want it. Have also explained that the HEALTH AND DISABILITY COMMISSION are aware of the situation. Have also written complaints regarding this treatment to the CCDHB.

Not one single reply from anyone.

Funny though – a very quick meeting with the psych people was given. Whom apologised so much “for not listening to you in the first instance” that I became embarrassed. After apologising for my own swearing and verbal assaults, we all smiled and enjoyed the sunny day. I left with a script in my pocket for all my original medications, just like two months ago. They left with dented ego’s and having wasted thousands of dollars of the health departments time with meetings, paperwork, travel, more meetings and insane amounts of time hacking at computers adding to their RSI fingers.

What a bloody waste of time. Effort.

Screwed me around good and proper for a while mind you. Even the chemist giving me the drugs started rolling eyes.

Am just thankful that my back is not requiring hospital treatment just yet. Not in the mood to be stuck in a hospital bed unable to reach the panic buttons and pissing into my own t-shirt as the nice nurse has been replaced by bitch from hell whom hates us lying, thieving, stealing, hep c, aids ridden ADDICTS. Fuck you nurse bitch.


We need a peer lead support system for the likes of myself. There are ten stories similar to mine that I know of. ADHD, PAIN and then ADDICT LABELLED.

Economics of putting us in the addict box are actually very bad. Jails, courts, big issues… They cost money. A lot of money sometimes.

Ritalin, Sevredol and Halcion cost stuff all.

And allow the odd person to manage their own health requirements. Possbility of becoming a good working citizen (valuable economic unit) is much increased.

We do need a proper mechanism for this sort of problem. There are a lot of us. A serious lot of us.

Anne Helm is known amongst the Addiction Service staff as a bit of a bulldog for “consumer rights”. Personally, I have a lot to discuss with Anne. She is a good person, in a tough role. I need a job in her role. She needs better contact with “drug addicts”.  Her newsletters that look like desktop publishing from the early eighties do not get remembered. Most people I know with issues about their Addiction DisServices treatments have not heard of Anne.

Although she set up various meetings to look at issues with OTS (opiod treatment services) not a lot attended. I’d arranged for a few people to get picked up by me and taken there. Unfortunately Anne did not reply to email, so I considered myself (as a non current addict / OTS user) unwelcome. When seen at a subsequent national addiction conference held in Wellington, she approached and made noises about having a proper meeting. Never happened.

Hope anyone with issues has better luck…. Please tell her I sent you. In fact, mention this blog to TOM, SAM, JEREMY… They all know of it. Some even read it occasionally. I still get a laugh when I see how many people have searched for “SAM MCBRIDE LIME GREEN DYSON” on Google results statistic pages. Fucken funny. Some people search regularly for “NZFIEND” or “NZFIEND BLOG”. Interesting that some of the I.P addresses result in NZ Government proxies. Am more interested in all those nice people from Vancouver keeping in contact. I have friends who want to visit you guys. Just saying. You know who you are.

Anne Helm
Consumer Consultant 
Capital & Coast Mental Health, Addictions and Intellectual Disability Directorate
Level 1,  Administration Building,
Mein Street,
Wellington Regional Hospital – Ngā Puna Waiora
Postal Address – Private Bag 7902, Wellington
Tel: 04- 385 5999 ext 88190
Cell Phone : 027 221 2219

In the meantime, forward your emails and stories to

To talk to someone about how they are using your information and to rectify information you consider wrong / out of date / downright innapropriate ;

 Privacy Commissioner on 0800 803 909

AND NOW — I must remember to harass that pain clinic guy. He told me I should be able to have an epidural injection to help with pain issues. He said this a long time ago. AND NOTHING HAS BEEN ORGANISED. 

Fucken typical.

I need a more streamlined complaint process. 

This one is worn out.



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