Knock Three Times on the Ceiling if you Want Me…
To shut the fuck up.
People, people, people. People everywhere. Their capitalistic limbo states abounding. Surrounding. Overwhelming. To escape and lead a life more ordinary I go home. My daughter, unexpectedly, comes to stay for the weekend after our teams football games on Saturday morning (2-0 loss and 0-0 draw)…
We are at home. She gets off MINECRAFT and goes off to bed. Finally there is a chance of having a decent crack of the whip on this graphical poster.
The TV, the music, the noise in my head. All turned to “low“, if not “nothing“.
The girls yelping and excited gasps and giggles come through clearly from the people living through three inches of 1950’s concrete above my head.
The guys grunts and groans. The furniture being repetitively ground into the floor and against the walls… BANG, BANG, GASP, OOOOooooooooooooo, BANG…. AAAHHHHH.
Sounds of four or five girls and three or more guys having a fuck fest right above my head is something I can cope with at 10pm. No problem.
At 4am they start moving into the room above my daughters. All the floors are the same layout. My lounge is below theirs. My bedroom is below theirs. My computer desk is below two chicks asses and a big black cock by the sound of it.
At 4am I go have a shower, probably for completely differing reasons from the headonists above.
At 4.15am there is what appears to be three rather large marks appearing on my ceiling. Detective Inspector Paul Retardhead from NZ POLICE would have not a major trouble working out that the large sledge hammer and sledge hammer shaped marks in the paint and concrete were the source of this noise.
The bonk buddies upstairs stop instantly and I hear whispered embarrassed sounding girls and guys working out what to do.
“Why the fuck are you whispering and embarrassed after the last six hours of me hearing every little anal insertion in great detail?” I yell.
< complete, unearthly and most unheadonistic silence >
“My ten year old girl is trying to sleep down here, so why don’t you fuck off”
And bloody well invite me next time so I can leave the kid at her Mums.