And now. Depressed

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And now, depressed. Laying in bed at 1pm is not normal. Sun shine, but windy.

A friends grandad died and ,whilst away at funeral, his young missus leaves him.

That’s not it though.

Went to my dead sisters house to repair something. Lung cancer. 37. Sad. Got me thinking.

That’s not it.

Went for coffee. Had 12 shots. Normal behaviour. Even started yawning. Friend shows up, notices yawns and asks if I just swallowed ritilan as he notices I yawn uncontrollably when a big dose hits.

Our friend is in hospital. They have found out what’s wrong. Lung Cancer.

But that’s not it.

The methadone maintenance people are not treating him with empathy or respect he needs.

This is not it either.

It is all of this. It is writing emails, making phone calls. All the same as every other time.

The world may be changing.

Just wish it would bloody well hurry up.

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