When all else fails, go and get a shitty tattoo. Works for me every time.

Sharp pain and stupidity in equal doses. Serenity.


Why do addict disservices the world over look at methadone as the be all and end all answer to addiction issues?

Why do they want you to reduce from morphine, tramadol or other short term pain killer when you have periods of pain for hours or days, once or twice a week and put your methadone intake up???

This really does not make sense. Pain for a few hours, every day, should mean a short acting pain killer can be used once a day.

If I am not hungry, why should I have to eat?

Why do addict disservices want me to join the methadone waiting list when I have no addiction to drugs?

This is like saying “you may want to write a letter tomorrow, so go and join the queue at the post office now, just in case.”

Worse, it is saying “the rate of failure from methadone withdrawal is so high, you may as well give up now and go back on it.”

So, why the hell would they want you on a drug with such a bad rate of abstinence in the first place?

Why does “ADDICTION” take precedence over other diagnosis and real treatments plans?

When I go to hospital shitting my pants and peeing my trousers due to spinal injury, they give me opiates. This helps as it keeps me moving. Then ADDICTION SERVICES wakes up and the drugs get swapped for panadol. This is a common thing. REAL PAIN and SUFFERING from cancer, injury, damage takes second place to your status as an addict.

I have said it before, but here it is again. The best advice I can give any drug user in New Zealand is to NEVER, EVER, NEVER (REPEAT – NEVER!) REPORT TO ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANY TIME, ADMITTING YOU NEED HELP WITH A DRUG PROBLEM.

You are signing your own ticket to being anally penetrated by large health professional dildos for the rest of your living days.

They will even help make your living days shorter by blaming your pains on your methadone level.

You will then find out, rather too late, the chest pains are lung cancer. The pain in your head is not imaginary. They should not have given your more methadone. You had a bloody brain bleed.

The list goes on.

Why do I have a headache?!!!

BREATHE. Centre myself…
Serenity for a short period.

Serenity is imagining that John Campbell looks up a technical psychopath diagnosis, applies it to John Key and interviews him at 7.05 on live TV without warning. John Key will not blink. Mainly due to his psycho nature denying him this ability.

Anyway…. Serene….

Two people died recently. Both with cancer. Both on methadone. Both with rather large issues that the addiction services should answer to. Both had complaints handled by me in the months before their deaths. One day addict disservices just may answer. Don’t hold your breath.

In the meantime the addicts at the bottom are handling astounding amounts of bullshit.

“Addicts need control and regimented care” – Doctor X, Wellington Addiction Services, 2014.

“Addicts need a life, a say in their lives, and happiness. Then they can be considered non-problematic and can be left to their own devices. A happy person will join community and economy. An unhappy one will continue to drain the system.” ME – addressing a government official whom actually seemed very very interested Nov 2014.

Today I was kind of serene for a while. Handing stuff over works okay. There was no way my court appearance today was going to upset me, or throw me off balance. I rolled, I timed, I punched.

I said crazy things such as (in no precise order) ;

  • “no your honour, I do not want a lawyer, I am rather stupidly saving this country thousands of dollars a year in this way….”
  • “excuse me your honour, but I see the Police have not got that paperwork, may it please the court that in relation to my previous criminal record, I can say this is the first charge of this nature, although I do have two counts of assault with weapon and four or five historic counts of assault police and / or prison guard. At least I was consistent with whom.”
  • “if my lawyer was any smarter I would advise him to appeal this guilty verdict. However, since I trust him implicitly, he is suggesting I ask for my fines to be remitted by way of community service and… Wait… Sorry your honour. He is now telling me to shut up before I dig a large hole.”
  • “Your honour, I truly was astounded and annoyed at being found guilty on this matter. Obviously the previous judge had to find me guilty of something as it just smelt bad….”
  • “Sir, we are all innocent. It is just the hopeless state of lawyers in this country that has got anyone convicted…”
  • “I would suggest, if I may be so bold, that even though no person has asked for a sentencing report, that the probation and the police services seem totally unprepared, that the probation service would be glad to have me on a work service programme. Most likely cutting weeds on the roadside (probation lady nods agreement) rather than a cushy office job. But, let’s face it, getting out in the sun is beneficial to the community. I need the vitamin D for mental health….”

The judge said such thought inducing things such as (again, no real order) ;

  • Are you sure you do not wish a court lawyer to advise you further?”
  • “Are you sure you’re sure……”
  • “Sure?”
  • Really?”
    (okay, this is an exaggeration, he only asked twice….)
  • “I am sure almost everyone whom comes before me for sentencing would be annoyed at being found guilty….”
  • “I cannot work out why there has been no pre-sentence report, no assessments, no victim impact reports, nothing at all has been called for. I do note, however, you have produced a hasty section 88 remit of fines. You do realise what this will mean?”

“Yes, your honour. A bloody great whopping amount of community work hours.”

  • “Not necessarily, Mr NZFIEND. Do you have anything further to say before I pass sentence?”
  • “Well, yes, actually a hell of a lot your honour. But possibly nothing that will enhance your knowledge, sway your scales or otherwise influence the decision before you. I would like to say that I have learnt from this. I was honestly trying to help, and it went badly wrong. It has cost me in ways that are not worth going into given time restraints of current daylight hours. I am happy that the judge who found me guilty made special mention of the facts that it was an “altercation” and that I had tried to de-esculate deit to the best of my ability. I have shown obvious remorse at this event and situation. You will not see me before the court due to anything similar in future.”
  • “Yes. Well… Uhm… Maybe you should have read the judges decision. She states ANY judge can sentence on this matter. Which is really unusual. She did not order any reports… Well, you were justified in most aspects. The ‘self defence’ defence is somewhat justifiable, but you have been found guilty.”
  • “I guess she threw all the marbles in the air and a few more fell on the side of unjustifiable rather than justifiable….”

And, so saying. I got a total of 200 hours community work.

Got $6669 NZ remitted for eighty of those hours. Almost seven grand for eighty hours is over $80 an hour. I have not got that sort of money often in life. And when I have it has all been spent on drugs faster than it came in.

Getting sentenced and getting out of the court and police system made me very happy. Even with two hundred hours of slavery to complete. I am truly happy.

I got another tattoo. It is pretty crap. Still, I like it.


And tomorrow there is a funeral and party for my old mate. And the day after that there is another. For another old mate.

Both dead before the average NZ life expectancy. Both spent decades on methadone. 

Both examples of those who do not appear in the long and well studied data presented by MATUA RAKI.

Headache and stress. Sponsored by the people whom give me them!……….








Postscript —- to-live-life-on-your-own-terms-you-have-to-be-prepared-to-crash-and-burn/ I thought 100 hours community work in this post months ago. Nostradamus not quite.


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