What can I say?

Probably would prove less detrimental not to admit this, but….


Heroes of mine were the likes of GUY FAWKES, VLAD THE IMPALER, and… Well… Uer…

Put it this way, if SLEDGE HAMMER did not have such a profound effect on me, the NZ POLICE may not hate me as much….

And… Then… I’m here to kick arse and chew gum. And I’m all outta gum.


Today was spent doing court imposed community work for an event that found me guilty of something very debatable and arguable.

I am kind of fed up with this situation.

This person (MM, coz she eats so many MM’s) says shit, the police believe her, and I end up in a pile of shit.

She is now saying that I have been drugging girls,
dragging them home and raping them whilst they sleep.

Some people probably believe her. According to her “everyone knows what you [I] are”… She then listed specifically the good people at some mental health trusts (Kites), the District Health Board (CCDHB) and the Wellington Benefit Rights Service (as paid for by Sue Bradford, GREEN MP, Wellington….)

But, bugger them with a large pitchfork, the police don’t.

Once I heard the news of this latest ill gotten rumour, I raced straight to the police.

Walking into the major central police station and demanding they take my photos, take my DNA, and show my photo to every single woman whom has complained of any form of sexual assault in the last fourty years in New Zealand is probably worthy of writing about in more detail. I demanded to be prosecuted to the extent of the law.

After an hour of this, the police woman whom had taken me into a private room (sexual crimes of this nature are, quite rightly, frowned upon) basically got fed up and kicked me out.

FUCKEN USELESS. Really did try to get arrested for this.

I think I may hand myself in to Rosie Edwards, Clarissa, John and Tom at the CCDHBDSM. Obviously I am falling asleep at night, turning into Mr Hyde, and having my way with the late nite party goers of Wellington.

If anyone has seen me in bars in the wee hours, please phone police straight away.

For I don’t drink, smoke or have any stupefying drugs.

Although, given the state of these affairs, I may just take the drugs.


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