When unable to sleep at night…

Sleeping and rest were / are an issue for the recovering addict.

More so, it seems, in the social economic controlling influence of the environment some of ourselves find surrounding us.

Last night the natives (hoaries as I have started affectionately calling them – or is the effectionately?) had huge arguments, women screaming, threatening and abusing. Slaps fired. Handbags at dawn. All the usual crap that comes from these idiots drinking their benefit payments away whilst the kids sit screaming in another room.

So, not for the first time since living here …

Hell, not even the first time this week. I had my daughter on Tuesday night and had to go out and “break up” a fight in the stairs outside my apartment at 9.30. She had only gone to bed at 9pm, but pretended to be asleep when I went to check on her afterwards.

Not a skill, or strategy, I would like my 11 year old girl to have in her “coping mechanism” basket.

So, not for the first time since living here there was an instance of me having to wake and fail to return to void space that is usually dreamless sleep.

Since being awake, I thought it a good idea to put on a DVD. Unfortunately the DVD recommended to me by the old skin gang guy from a block by the zoo was SPUN.spun

Although entirely enjoyable, not 100% sure any half decent psych’ would recommend this course of action.

Admitting that drugs are good and without them I would be in jail, institution or death… Admitting I am useless and handing it all over to a higher power. Hell, forget the drug scenes. They got me going.

Where there is drugs, there is, surely, sex and rocknroll.

Finally dozed off after movie about 5am. Woke at 7. Feel like a hit. 

 

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