According the powers that be there is a lady from Scandinavia in town whom I am being re-referred to in order to be re-diagnosed with / without ADHD.
She wants drug urine tests, she wants two people whom she can talk to about me and my behaviours. Nobody knows me that well. There is my ex-spiritual advisor ™ but she’s elsewhere. There are a bunch of people whom could all tell this lady tales of my adhd qualifying outbursts or lack of focus, order and direction.
But I think the writing is on the wall.
I think they have simply decided that I am not a big enough problem, or I need more control, so they will put me on daily pickup drug regimes or simply stop any drugs.
I prefer myself not on drugs.
It’s just that my life, the world, and those around me benefit from me being on the stupid things.
The incredible thing about all this is that without the original ADHD diagnosis, and with the drugs, I would never have been sitting in my daughters house with her Mum and sisters. This co-incidence is not lost on me. My kids mum looked very shocked about me having to re-qualify etc etc.
Obviously the ADHD self test scale would come out vastly different when on their drugs.
The kids football season is starting. The kids and parents and my life needs stable stuff.
This lady and her drugs tests and wanting to talk to two people close to me for hours on end is very unsettling.
After being at acupuncture, having a good day or two with child and generally ignoring “real life” like court and crime and punishment, this phone call about being looked at all over again from the ground up really has me up in the air.
Close to not giving a fuck.
Is bad enough being at the bottom of a capitalist shit heap without them trying to make it worse for you.