Dear _____________________, (in this instance, a probation officer)
Bloody chickens are even on the Google Street view!… Looks possibly like a road kill one in the street too… Yum.
A very entertaining two hours on the phone to the internet and power company representative was had. We spent more time cracking each other up and really enjoying the afternoon talking shit with each other than we did on official business…. Not at all like me… Sidetrack much?
After talking in depth about everything known to man, including chlamydia in the eyes, being hung upside down by ankles and poked with sharp sticks and how shit ACDC drummers are (the power company is based is Tauranga after all)… She confirmed the power is currently on and being changed to my name as of 21st August.
As it happens “A” was a great way to spend an afternoon
“A” from the utility company whom is short, blue eyed, looks like her Mum, rides a non Italian motor scooter, works on the sixth floor with a view, giggles easily, laughs freely, was born in Africa, can do good Australian, English (Queen through to Cockney slang), NZ, South African (including many different nation states) and ALMOST ALWAYS HAD A COME BACK TO SOMETHING I SAID
A rare find. Especially at the speed she managed it.
If, during your next phone call to a utility company, the subjects of having to try something before deciding, genocide and waxing your own pubic area comes up… I recommend this conversation tester…
“SO, Miss A, what do you think about Egypt as a destination, and are they forcing you into speaking German yet?”
Heheheheh, evil cackle.
On the subject of Miss A suggesting I was more interesting than most of her phone calls….
“Try anything once Miss A. And usually twice. You don’t get good at anything until the third or fourth time mind you. Only problem – By then it an addiction. Usually of a problematic variety. I suggest trying anything three times, other than some random guy injecting you with smack. Just say no.”
This was a remarkably fun way of spending two hours. The other half hour of the call was more authentic utility provider to client talk.
They have put the phone line and internet connection through as a “priority” on my specific request to facilitate any possibility the Probation / Department of Coercions office would want to check the location as a suitable alternative given any likelihood of an electronically monitored Community Detention sentence.