Letter to sentencing Judge, Wellington District Court, NZ, 19th August 2015

IN the interests of having an open and transparent judicial process (and as part of my honouring the best traditions of fuckwitism) I am writing this on WordPress.

A few other reasons also suggest this course of action to be required. One of which is that the spelling checker in my OPEN OFFICE does not seem to work. And since I am going to try using a few big words with more than one vowel in them, spelling checker is somewhat essential.

SO – IT IS 8:56AM.

I am due in court for sentencing at 11:45. My good young friend has been nagging me already. And I appreciate it. 100% awesome.


19TH AUGUST 2015

Your Honour,

I appear before you today for sentencing on a number of breach charges. One for failing to appear at a court hearing, the remainder being “breach of protection order” matters being dealt with by way of earliest possible guilty plea.

As the court records will show, I attempted to enter guilty plea’s on the protection order matters on the 6th May 2015. On that date the judge remanded me in custody, which I am still serving now. I offered to confirm an address in Christchurch or Auckland and this would have prevented the custodial remand. However, I decided against this as I was, at that time, coach of my child’s football team.

The previous night I had handed myself in to Police (although their court papers asking for a remand in custody clearly state that they caught me after some sort of an extended search process) and my only phone call was not to a lawyer, but to a football Mum. This mother then turned up at training to look after the children on that Tuesday at 3:30. Court records should show that at this exact time I was being stood down into custody.

As background to this offending I have been getting along well with my daughter and her mother (both of whom the protection order covers). I had been to their house a few times a week and been helping with paper runs and that sort of thing. When my daughters mother ran at me and punched me four or five times in the head in front of the football kids, our daughter, school teachers and parents, I did not react or defend myself. She left me with hearing problems and bleeding ears. The children were shocked by this, as was I.

She has been found guilty of assault in this matter, but blames me entirely and even goes so far as to say “he has not even apologised to me for the football training incident” in other (Family) court paperwork. There is a recorded phonecall that shows the level of vindictiveness and provocation I was up against.

This protection order has been in place thirteen years. There has never been any violence, or real threat or insinuation of such. Although breaching protection order, these are all text messages, phone calls or “FaceBook”.

The FaceBook thing is a little dangerous. I DID NOT “POST” A PHOTO. I did not have control of the photo or image. The “POSTED PHOTO” was actually a POST OWNED BY THE VICTIM. I COMMENTED on her own photo on my FaceBook. It was not addressed to her. The only way she could have seen it is by closely scrutinising my FaceBook. She could have deleted the photo, or made it private or simply blocked me from it as she has uploaded it and owned it entirely. FaceBook is a public forum and being convicted for commenting on a picture that she had uploaded herself, and, by right, retained ownership or censorship thereof, may set a rather strange legal precedent for future Protection Order matters.

Unfortunately I have not seen all the paperwork or Police evidence around this matter as I had simply tried to enter guilty pleas to all these matters. Again, I spent more time worrying about being football coach and parent than I did about legal matters.

Having spent six weeks in custody and another two months on electronic monitored custody there are now other life choices available to me.

There has been over a decade of chasing the dream of being a decent and good father. During this time I have been involved with bringing up children with other partners and have been very reliable and useful with a number of child development issues. Including the ways of managing three football teams with all their ADHD, Dyslexic and over enthusiastic traits. And that is just the parents! The kids are even worse!

I have many supporting documents in regards to my abilities with these kids, but have spent my whole life’s energy over the last twelve years attempting to be something that will always now remain out of reach.

It is with a heavy heart that I officially hand in my notice and terminate my position of father.

My daughter gets stressed by her mum and me disagreeing. Her mum obviously cannot cope with me being around. I have honestly been trying to do the best for this ongoing situation. I have attended courses, been part of various groups and reasonably high level discussion groups. Am sorry to say you will never find out what these are. Am sorry to say I have been forced to quit all this work due to restrictions of custody and electronically monitored custody restriction.

So, life has been stopped for over three months. And picking up where I left off is not an option.

As my daughter and her new family live five kilometres away (approximately, have not actually measured it) and there are people all around whom know the both of us, proximity to victims is an issue.

The Judge on 6th May 2015 agreed and would have given bail had I provided an out of town address.

I am now in a position to provide an out of town address. In fact, I have taken it a step further. I have signed a tenancy agreement on a property 97.2 kilometres away (yes, I have measured it). I include a document proving this to be true.

As things have changed for me in the last four weeks, this is outside the realm of the submitted documents from Probation and Drug and Alcohol assessment. At the time of writing I have not seen these reports, but have been in contact with both authors of said documents and have their verbal support for such a move. Just the legalities of such elude them. And possibly me to be fair.

It is now 9:30am on the morning of sentencing. I have two hours to finish this, do my hair, find some trousers and put a half decent shirt on. I will, therefore, try to be professional from this point forth.

Am now cheating a little by copying part of an email sent to a well respected and hard working lawyer…

By moving out of town I am negating the perceived risk to “victims”.

  • I am not in contact with either my child or my childs mother any more
  • I am not wanting to remain in contact with Wellington druggies and the like (other charges)
  • By moving away from town there is no need for a restriction of travel or curfew
  • I am able to work with conditions such as ;
    • “not to enter XXXXXX”
    • enter Wellington city only for medical or other purposes as approved with prior arrangement
    • reporting to XXXXX police / probation
    • A&D or other counselling / programmes as organised by XXXXX probation
  • I could possibly keep the G.P.S ankle bracelet on for a few weeks until the moving process is complete. This would allow Corrections staff to track me within a few metres and confirm I have been nowhere near the victims.
It is not all about my family situation. There are constant temptation from drug associates and the simple fact of living in such an area could easily result in my returning to old ways.
Being stuck at home 24/7 by myself and not being able to participate in my own shopping or keep up with volunteer, consultancy and advocacy work has resulted in me almost failing a number of times. Getting close to using a lot of drugs and simply switching off for a few weeks is understandable. I would have done no one any harm. I felt as though I was just spending my life waiting for a court date. I can offer any sort of drug test you like and will guarantee you it is clean. Have not even been drinking. Just sitting at home downloading movies illegally and trying to switch off.
Of course having ADHD quite noticeably precludes the idea of “switching off”. Many sleepless nights and soul searching have ensued.
The consequences of me continuing contact and attempting to be any sort of decent father to my kid are such that the continued effort and detriment to my own being dictate termination of this life and plotting a course for a different one.
  • I have support at this new address from local IWI and very good friend. Without whom I would, most likely, be in jail right now.
  • I have arranged the possibility of doing community work.
    Although I understand that Corrections staff ultimately decide if I can do this arrangement on a local Maori owned site or if I would be working out of their centre.
  • I have the possibility of some light work using my qualifications in building and as a university qualified designer.
    Have already provided some form of consultancy in this manner via internet and telephone.
  • The property is two bedrooms, quarter acre, double garage and even has chickens running around.
    This is a far cry from my current damp, non insulated and quite disgusting block in Wellington city. I own three cars, all of which have no warrant or registration. I have a lot of stuff to move. This move would allow me to sort out my life, my cars and my motivation to stay away from drugs and drug culture.
  • The property has power on in my name and the telephone and internet are being connected on a “priority” basis.
    The telephone and internet were “2-7 days away” on Monday. So could already be connected. This would allow Corrections staff to simply change the address of any Community Detention order.

I realise this is complicating matters in regards to sentencing. I urge you to continue with sentencing today. The ankle bracelet tracks my every move, so leave the thing on for a month until this move away from Wellington is sorted out.

Living by yourself in a, honestly, crap little hovel on the bottom of a mouldy Housing block surrounded by druggies and people selling anything to get by is actually worse than jail. I feel for people who have failed and done silly things in regards to removing bracelets and the like. But I have stuck with it. Even though jail was preferable.

I am motivated to change course. Hanging around here is just not worth the trouble any longer.

The victim in this matter has been trying to take away any parenting order for eleven years. I want nothing to do with her and do not trust her in the slightest. Unfortunately she is the mother of my beautiful daughter.

I wish them no further trouble with me.

So, at risk of being labelled a “dead beat Dad” after thirteen years of fighting tooth and nail in the Family Court, the best thing for them is to bugger off.

It has taken me a few months of custodial remand to reach the somewhat obvious conclusion that buggering off is the best thing for me also.


And, for the first time in a decade, I am happily looking towards the future. Even allowing myself to make plans and have goals is something new. Life is a drag when you are constantly doing the best for other people at your own detriment.

Time to move on (and not just because it is now 10:01 and I have to get ready for court)…

That’s the end of that. A new and different life awaits. Do me and Wellington a favour. Kick me out.



Yours Sincerely, although with some character, don’t confuse it for taking matters lightly,




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