As avid readers will be aware, I have faced many trial and tribulation this annual cycle of Fiendshit (a year is to most people what is about equal to one annual cycle of Fiendshit – Or maybe six point six six dog years…… God not being the reverse of goD. Far from it. Ahem….)
Thus, having told the background story to those whom have just joined us and full-filling contractual obligations to sponsors we may progress to the main event…
Tonight’s fixture ;
BUTTERFLIES vs NZLAW.
In the blue corner we have NZFIEND, himself having represented himself in court many times and even won a few “not guilty” verdicts from Judges… Almost a fifty percent success record with no silly plea bargains.
In the red corner we have NZLAW, represented by such oddities as KELVIN CAMPBELL (yes, a real name, seriously…!) and a judge (nameless sonsofbitches at the best of times….)
The blue corner has with him today a mental health worker advocate and support person…
** advocate and support agency as enforced by probation – probation as it happens falls into the category of Switzerland in this bout – pussies, sitting on the fence, undecided whom to support or wave flags for. Unlike Phoenix supporters, the Probation Service will not support a sinking ship as they simply refuse to support anything… Until any event has been completed, Probation will do nothing, be seen to do nothing, and just make sure their I’s have dots and their T’s have dashes in the meantime. Professional fence sitters. Pity the fence isn’t made of second hand dildos….. Hmmm… Pretty. I may have to go for a little lie down…….. Just saying….
The support worker shows up at 8:25am as NZFIEND is not allowed to drive (loss of license) and his current bail conditions do not allow him to enter the town where the courthouse is.
The road from NZFIENDs house only goes to the town. There is no other road. No other route. Just one path to travel – And it goes straight to the town he is not allowed to enter. Therefore, legally, NZFIEND is confined to a place with no shop, no support, no friends, nor family. Boo hoo for poor old me. I am not applying for permission to hold a pity party. Nor do I want one. Just the ability to be treated fairly and justly in a government organisation would be a good outcome!
I must be one really bad person to deserve all this.
You would think an assigned lawyer would work for you. You would think KELVIN CAMPBELL (yes, a real name FFS) would work for the person whom is employing him. Yet, this is not the case. He was clearly in the opposition corner before even so much as appearing in court.
He, Kelvin Campbell, was late to court and had not rung or contacted me despite my effort in the last three weeks. My support worker was astounded at the way KELVIN pointed his pen and used lines such “you need to shut up and listen to me” when Kelvin was repeating the Police version of events as though they are factual. The Police have exaggerated and lied numerously over the last year, but they are currently making a new baking dish to support the huge amounts of baking they are using to make their cakes, eat them too, and be left with cake to share with court staff…. For us to get a fairer legal system, we just need take away the Polices ability to bake these amazingly self serving cakes. Main ingredients are BULLSHIT, INNUENDO and SMUG. Topped with icing sugar and presented to the judge with a cherry on top. No one has yet told the judge the Police cakes look a lot like a large penis, but the criminals have noticed.
The criminals also talk, and ALL laugh about KELVIN CAMPBELL (yes, yes, a real name… I know, I know)… When in the holding cells with a bunch of local gang members three weeks ago, I showed them his card. They all rolled on the floor laughing. One pulled out some drugs and shared them with me.
POOR FUCKEN ME they said between chortles…
I stood up for KELVIN.
For he was in my corner.
But, no longer. What a tosser.
My support worker was astounded at the way KELVIN treated me. KELVIN lambasted me at every oppurtunity, would not listen and had the cheek to tell me I had agreed to enter a guilty plea when I had actually said “that may be an acceptable avenue, given a complementary sentencing indication”. What this means, and I am not a lawyer so could have this wrong, is “that may be okay if the judge gives a indication of an acceptable sentence”. I don’t know how else to put it. The Queens good English is lost on these one eyed professors of law.
Remember the LAW and JUSTICE are probably two opposing forces in the realms of this small town system.
So, after KELVIN telling me “I am not acting for you” and leaving the room, I am acting for myself. KELVIN then tells the judge that I refused to work with him (completely untrue) and then had to be told to sit down by NZFIEND and the JUDGE if he was not acting. He tried saying yet more drivel, before the JUDGE told him to sit down.
This is where things went very badly.
The JUDGE refused to listen to NZFIEND (even though NZFIEND is now representing himself) and threatened NZFIEND with remand in custody if NZFIEND opened his mouth.
However, the judge then DEMANDED NZFIEND enter a plea on charges that the Police had admitted were wrong and were going to reduce… The JUDGE then told NZFIEND he would only discuss this with a lawyer and further, the JUDGE would not listen to NZFIEND representing himself.
NZFIEND is representing himself, and therefore the JUDGE is handing down advice (orders) that are illegal.
NZFIEND heard quite clearly that he was remanded with “BAIL TO CONTINUE, PLEASE STAND DOWN” when NZFIEND almost shouted to be heard.
NZFIEND was heard saying “Your honour, I will fail bail, I have no license, no legal way of doing shopping, have to be in a large city over night for surgery and medical issues which will mean I will fail bail. There is no question of this your honour. Not to enter [this town] but to reside at home 7pm-7pm is impossible given my circumstance“
Although the judge had already said “stand down” he actually fucken listened and gave bail for ONE WEEK for these issues to be raised. They were meant to be raised today. That is one of the things the judge at hearing THREE WEEKS ago said.
So, I have to find a new lawyer and have a lawyer represent me.
This is not NZ LAW.
My Butterflies were correct. Just knew this was going to be a shity day. The judge is giving me unjust and highly unlawful directives whilst telling me “if you open your mouth I will hold you in custody until the very last case of the day” and the like. Just how is a man able to represent himself with his mouth sewn shut? Since KELVIN COOPER had walked out for no just reason just five minutes earlier I had attempted to enlist other legal counsel, but was never going to be successful in the time frame offered.
And the scoreboard at HALF TIME is
NZ LAW NIL
KELVIN COOPER GOT A RED CARD
We will return with the conclusion of this bout as appropriate.
In the meantime, do not ever employ KELVIN CAMPBELL from COOPER CAMPBELL LAW incorporating HOROWHENUA PROPERTY LAW.
At least not for criminal cases.
He may be able to hold your hand through some very expensive and amazingly drawn out property issue, but any other court is not for him.
KELVIN CAMPBELL from COOPER CAMPBELL LAW incorporating HOROWHENUA PROPERTY LAW should never act for you in a serious criminal matter. EVER. Not even for free. And he was getting paid for representing me.
He told NZFIEND that NZFIEND would not get bail and that NZFIEND needed ELECTRONIC BAIL (ankle bracelet).
NZFIEND told him “NO, I will get bail, if you won’t do it, then I was do it myself”. KELVIN then simply read some statements from the writing NZFIEND lovingly created the weekend before in his jail cell (thanks to having a copy of the BAIL ACT 2000 in his cell) and now clains to have done NZFIEND a great service.
Like I say, his demeanour and attitude towards NZFIEND was apparent for all to see. Others have commented on KELVIN COOPER of COOPER CAMPBELL LAW incorporating HOROWHENUA PROPERTY LAW being a complete arse in his dealings with me. He will lose work because of it. Maybe even have to answer to higher powers than his Mum one enlightened day. Until then, his good Mum can be Judge and Jury on his pathetic little criminal career. http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/10464060/Death-sends-a-message-victims-mother Campbell, acting on instructions for another lawyer, stated “it came as a surprise” his client was arrested… OMG. Seriously, this is the best you have done as a criminal lawyer? Fuck off Kelvin. Your “aid” is not wanted here.
Unfortunately, the POLICE rumour mill, the innuendo and the lies seemingly work.
KELVIN and the LAW people have all bought into it. Hook line and stinker…
He asked me why I should not enter a guilty plea, and then repeatedly told me to shut up and listen to him as he read the Police version of events. The Police version of events is DESIGNED TO MAKE THE ACCUSED LOOK BAD. To have your own lawyer trust the Police cake baking over his own employers answers to questions is downright unjust (me, EMPLOYER – you, SUBSERVIENT)..
Unfortunately, for little old KELVIN and his property law, what really happened that night and what the lawyer expected to hear were not reciprocal to Police version, or Police “nudge nudge, wink wink” capabilities at its demonstrably finest.
Nor should it be. NZ COURTS are an ADVERSARIAL place. He said, she said. I say, they say. They lie, I get fucked. That kind of an environment.
Someone should tell KELVIN that is how it works. The accused gets to face his accuser. That does NOT make him a criminal and them the victim. If admit to wrongdoing, and I do, I am only the criminal in the capacity of that wrong doing. I am not legally required to agree to the Police version, nor should I.
Then security people at court –—
My name was called out and I stood to enter the dock. As per custom in NZ Courts, based on the British system of centuries standing, you are required to enter a little box of humiliation called “the Dock”. The court security people told me to sit down back in my seat and got quite grumpy about it, even trying to grab me as I sidestepped them and made it to the dock.
The other parties in this incident were due in court today charged with violent offences against each other.
The court system changed their days of appearance, or kept them in “victims” areas and added security measures as I was appearing this day also.
All this equates nicely with WITCH HUNTING – The other old time British sport which was still active in 1950’s… http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2007/jan/13/secondworldwar.world … I am being whispered about, innuendoed over and shat upon by these people. I have yet to hear what these lies and problems are, but have been forced to retire from football coaching children, have lost access to my own children, have been warned by others that Police and social agencies are warning them about me and the police have been “painting alarming and sinister pictures” off me to all and sundry. “Pictures” can represent any manner of lie or fearful irrational thought. Yet the police admit to painting pictures of sinister content.
Then the JUDGE.