Netflix made me want drugs.

Nineteen ninety fucken four..?..

Think I was in jail, released just in time for a birthday on Dec 13th. Think the release date was the 12th. Or maybe it was the fucken 13th? Really don’t remember. Or give a shit to be frank. Whoever frank was, he has a few things to answer for.

What I do remember, quite well, was…
Itching to get out the cell and being left there by some sarcastic screw until well after normal release hour…
Climbing up the walls, almost literally…
Warm toast at Dad’s… before telling some bullshit lies and finding my feet tracking down the drug dealer who took up the slack when me and my totally slack mate went to jail…
Two days of remembering sweet fuck all – pretty sure I met the future mother of my daughter mind you…
Blowing through the few grand left with that typical thousand dollar a day ceiling most stupid fuckwits like me aspired to…
Well and truly smashing the old notion that being clean for a few months from methadone means that your tolerance for all things opiate has dropped…

Ho fucking hum. Roll on withdrawal and a shot at another life, for the first time.

Two Thousand and Nineteen…

Netflix has a new film out. The All American version of Mötley Crüe.

Watching this when you happen to be an old drug fiend leaves you feeling pretty odd, I gotta say.

The struggle with giving in and picking up is real. Daily.

Right about now human company would be beneficial.

Currently living alone, but with three ex feral cats has it’s own daily grind. Honestly. Right now I have the 8kg Axe Man between me and computer screen demanding attention. Am bleeding out spike wounds in the back of my hand and wrist. Not from drug use.

Bloody cats… Their bastard claws and teeth sure do work better than those little pins diabetics carry with them everywhere.

Maybe I need a meeting of the Narcotics Anonymous variety? 

For I guess I am single, alone and confused about what ghosts are and why anyone bothers chasing them. Hungry or otherwise.

Or maybe I need to get some real food into me, stretch and get on with whatever the hell it is I do with my broken arse nowadays.

Pretty sure not everyone has a life this depressing.

Just say no, right people?

Just say no.

D2Yv6GtUwAAGYmP[1]Had some food, fired up air compressor and put clear coat on some car parts… Got back to computer after an hour to be followed shortly thereafter by the Lorde Battle Axe… Again – just easier to give in and humour the big fella.

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