New Year’s. And Fuck life. 

Totally spewing. The ten dollars I have put in the bucket at Outpawed fundraiser got stolen along with the whole bucket of donations. Silly ladies leaving it out in full view outside entrance to Bunnings though.
But, Fuck. So annoyed and upset for them… And for me losing ten dollars for no reason. And for everyone else who put in more. And for people who put in less.
But most pissed off for the little feral fur baby wild and lost puddytats around the Hutt Valley in Wellington

Lorde Battle Axe New Year’s 2018

Battle Axe mid 2017

Look how handsome LORDE BATTLE AXE is now he has shaken off his coat of scab, dread lock and wounds.
He costs about twenty five a week to keep going. That’s combined bills of once a month flea treatment and regular worm and nutrients.. But he is a star, given what Rappaw Veterinary Care were faced with when I finally caught him and Outpawed found funding for the snip and micro chipping.
He doesn’t reek any longer, and I do not even know when he has been inside on my bed… You used to be able to smell him for hours after him just walking through house… And the trail of flea eggs… 
Anyway, Fuck you whoever stole from these cats on New Year’s just so you could be a loud drunk dick head for free tonight.
Mind you, with everyone bullshitting about how happy and rich they are on face book, no wonder the broke feel left out…
Sadly can empathise with that.
Right now am just totally fed up and spending this New years eve at home by myself being a grumpy old man. 
With my cat.




Enough said. YEAH GIRLFRIEND!pzzvazt2vvcfpgh2tspqwx7dzi



RAT PARK – dribble on I do…

RAT PARK and those famous cartoons that started busting peoples steroetypical thoughts on addiction are a favourite thing of mine to bang on about.

Click and fund a motion picture.

Help get the unwashed masses thinking for themselves.

I’m off to the shower.

For it has been a long day helping neighbour move couches, fretting over car failing to fire and generally contemplating the worthless life presented as an uphill battle blotting the horizon.

Mind is a little fuzzy and cannot be bothered working out how many days since nicotine last infected my body and mind with it’s dopamine bliss.

Would be nice to have car running for event in a weeks time. However disappointment never fails to disappoint.

Still, may feel better next week. And get car running. And have a nice day of weather, petrol and rubber.

Which may take my unwashed mind away from more worrying human conditions for brief periods of bliss.

Without artificially introduced happy hormones.


Vapour of E

VAPING, sure is a thing.

Having given up smoking seven years ago, was a little annoyed with self when starting again a couple of years ago.

A few young ladies I may or may not have been sounding out for this nor that were smokers. One exceptional beauty was getting the stupider side of me to roll cigarettes for her whilst driving  me the hundred kilometres to Wellington family court.

Court, losing access to daughter, other issues.  I guess, to most people, it’s just “life”.

To someone who smoked for thirty years of their fourty year old life it was a great gilded opportunity to fall from the wagon. Not like me to dive headfirst from anything without thinking about it long and hard first. Far from it, of course.

Anyhow. ….

Electric power steering nicotine vapour into willing lungs was soon deciding the way to go.

Don’t see a problem with nicotine. Just the delivery method. The chemicals inhaled from traditional spark induced tobacco cremation far out weigh the good the nicotine can do in someone like us.

E cigs are great. However the ADHD side of me losses them consistently. 

Constantly enough that three or four hours of a generous Week is spent stressing and climbing into cupboards, under cars, digging through the garden, moving beds… Occasionally to no avail.


Whilst buying another is certainly not entirely out of reach economically for this poor broken backed dick head who claims to be an adult most days —  have decided not to buy another out of pure pig headed stubborn self loathing.

In the words of Jeremy Kyle…. perhaps… Maybe that Oprah chick… 



Which is true. This jelly like brain of mine has certainly decided bit too replace the vape system. This, rather interestingly, has the side effect of reducing my nicotine intake to zero.

Yesterday was light headed, didn’t even visit mum on her birthday. Rude prick I am.

Stopping nicotine intake instantly probably isn’t the best route. Opiate receptors, cannabinoid, dopamine levels… They all go a little haywire. So,, side effects could be exactly like having ADHD to prior who didn’t already.

Discovering this info about withdrawal has got me re:thinking a few of the old ideas discovered whilst writing this, the worlds shittest blog.

Old ideas #55c ; the dual effect of nicotine and other drugs upon withdrawal.

And totally confirmed another old idea, possibly aptly labelled old idea #6.66…

N.A NAZI types who look down their noses at those who relapse, or turn to drink are dumb arsed…

For they are taking deep drags on cigarettes at the same time as putting down others on drug maintenance programs.

If nicotine calls to you every time you’re stressed, or you’re triggered to smoke by so many things…

YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE A HUG, A BROCHURE and CONTEMPLATE THE FIRST STEP, to paraphrase somewhat correctly… 

Something effecting opiate receptors and dopamine levels is not to be sneezed at. And sneezing through a cloud of tobacco inhalation of worthy of grabbing your attention.

And may prove an answer to methadone withdrawal… HUGE CIGARS FOR EVERYONE, administered daily of course, wouldn’t want people splitting them into half and creating a cigarette black market or anything. Paranoid ADDICTION DIS SERVICES world wide would choke on that one.

Meanwhile, little old me. Meaningless life lead…
Had a dream where I found the e cig, and was about to puff on it and threw it away instead.

Guess dreaming at all is a good sign. Seems nicotine is easier than methadone at this stage.

And giving up vaping is easier than smoking. YOU don’t have the whole procession of finding papers, filters, tobacco, rolling, finding lighter, smoking. That is a habit in itself.

Unfortunately – The Neuro pathways created by this repetitive business of smoking have turned into neuro highways.

Time to get back on those side roads by the coast and watch a sunset or three.

Without stinging lips from  18% nicotine liquid leaking over mouthpiece of baking machine.


Get out of bed, duvet death thereof

Cold night, beauty day out there. Holy crap, it’s almost midday and I really should be out of bed doing something at least… One more car renovation show, then will get into vertical mode and out the door. Promise…

Been spending a great amount of time and money on these feral cats. Crazy Cat Fiend. Hey, well, someone has to do it.

WHEN THE SPCA SAYS “RING EXTERMINATOR AND PUT THEM DOWN AT YOUR OWN COST” you have to wonder if the old CCDHB buildings they are in have infected their mindset

Society For Prevention of Cruelty to Animals my arse.

So, Gareth Morgan, I am dealing with these feral cats for you. 

It’s rewarding actually.


But really should get out of bed. So much to do, so little giving a shit about it all.

Snowballing mental health appears to show itself in how many cats you have.

What came first? The crazy or the cats?

Just do it. No matter who. DO THIS NOW

AMERICAS WAR ON DRUGS and CIA bullshit. Yet, like the wat on terror, New Zealand and other  countries sign up like sheep causing same jail and social issues.


Go figure.


Watch the link. Discuss.

Community Work

Picking up a little rubbish once a week gets you out the house when on home detention ankle bracelet.

It also introduces you to problematic acquaintances…

A little like people going to N.A or rehab for the wrong reasons.

Still, no choice. ON with it.