GOD, bloody hell.

Albert Hoffman

Albert Hoffman, problem child. Not a god at all.

GOD, Give me Serenity….

Dude, serenity I think may have to be earnt. She’s a high class sort of an escort. Don’t think prayer is going to change that.

But hey, god. Guess what? My higher power, kind sir. I think I do believe in something. Obviously it will never replace you, in your cushy dwellings on a hill overlooking the blob of world you created with no help at all from anything in anyway similar to Big Bang ™.

http://www.scientologie.org/se_npre.htm – Yes folks, scientology esisted pretty much before L. Ron Hubbard, Tom Cruise and Jon Travolta. The inventor of scientology may have even been sued for ripping off copyrighted ideas in the days before creative commons licensing. Some kinky German (maybe it was really Swiss man Albert Hoffman in drag over the border on a bender) decided to go down this scientology route. Ever since we have bombarded with amazingly rudimentary and crap rip offs such as Celestine Prophecies (a novel “adventure” book thinly disguising blends of religion and scientific belief tutorings in the 90′s – I read it then, and here is a short version without all the crap about being chased by government agencies).

I don’t believe any people can see aura’s to the extent of “a blob of green light stretched from him, across the room to her. The people in the room snickered. He did not know why.” The rest of the room could see his aura reach out and rape this poor chick. The chick was up for it as it turns out. So why does everyone snicker anyway? The person who penned this rubbish was once a “free love hippy” so should be all for a bit of the old naked mud wrestling.

I sit at N.A. meetings next to some beauty females. I sit across from them. I sit diagonally to them. It is pretty easy to spot those who are keen. I don’t need no green blob of light. A half open head, a bit of old fella type knowledge, and some spectacles are all that is required. 

In themselves, these things are okay. They can work. They are all preaching from the same bible really. In a round a bout kind of way, these hippies, faux lesbian, global consciousness, monk people have all ideals from the same thought processes.

When much younger I figured we were all like parts of an atom, making up an atom, making up something much larger. Who is to say the planet is not just a molecule as part of something larger? Fuck you. You cannot prove otherwise, and this is as valid point as most. Especially if you happen to be ten.


Wow. The inventor of all this spiritual awakening modern day mumbo jumbo appears to be attributable to PLATO. For fucksake. Plato. The man, him and old mate Socrates would have fallen over backwards and fallen off their olive branches if they had the internet on their tablets and checked out what happened over the next few thousand years….. Check out this little list… http://www.religionfacts.com/big_religion_chart.htm


That is all. I have spent the better part of a hundred hours working you out god. I am not a religious man. I fill out all my forms with atheist. Sometimes I write in Jedi as I heard once that if a thousand people write the same thing on a census form they have to add it as an option on the next population census.

Don’t think I am as bad a complete skeptic either. I don’t know what they believe, but I think I have explained some E.S.P (extra sensory exPeriences) of mine through simple science. Don’t know if the skeptics would let me away with that. Then again, a bunch of retard conspiracy theorists believe that the London underground bombings were a hoax. You can’t win.

Jesus was a brilliant man. And that Mary, holy christ she would be better than Princess Diana and Helen Clarke rolled into one. Jesus is somewhat misquoted and too many wars and politicians have confused the original guys empathic tendencies to more psychopathic confusion. Therefore, even the most new wave and rockstar religious groups are unbelievable. Sorry Jesus. They fucked you. And they threw Mary to the hounds.

They then took literal meaning to new heights… “Beware lest anyone rob you through philosophy and empty deceit…” (Colossians 2:8) This seems to mean, in context, to look out for an old camel fucker with a gang of biker chicks who will lead you astray. They converted it to, “FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS DIFFERENT FOR EVER. You, them and their unborn children will go to hell for coming up with anything other than the crap we are feeding you. “

NZFiend starts a new sect…

So, god. Uhm. Fucken hell mate, you’re really out there and I am going to bask in lake of fire and fry for eternity for talking to you thus? But what the fuck, the world is going to end in November 2014 before you fry my backside. With no world, there is no gravity. With no gravity I cannot sit in the eternal fire.  We could all become a black hole together. That sounds nice. Then, from this black hole, all the consciousness and souls that were atomised to create it will come forth and start anew. They will call themselves NZFIENDISTS (tm) and will register as a church and be tax exempt for all time. They will get wasted long, hard and often once they find a planet with enough gravity to pull the atoms back together… I will make sure to leave them a simple recipe for converting opium to heroin.

Makes as much sense as scientologists feeling that people came to earth, a couple of billion souls, and left them near volcanoes where they were promptly atomised with hydrogen bombs (if you want to argue, look it up… Scientology Incident 2)

I believe that bit. I don’t believe it was 75 million years ago, as claimed. They ruined it for me there. I think the dinosaurs actually invented the nuclear weapon and destroyed themselves. Cockroaches jump planets as they get consumed by the sun too. And Sam McBride puts his dick in his lime green dyson. Daily. I will go to court to prove any and all of these things as being true and not libel or slander in the slightest. Ring my publicist – I am on my way to High Court to defend a charge that Sam McBride uses his Dyson as a wank toy.

3D Joy Division (1960′s C1919 pulsar recordings) by NZFIEND.wordpress.com.

<<– WOW http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal

WOW. I have worked out where the scientologists came from… Or maybe it’s where we are going next….

The location of the signal in the constellation Sagittarius, near the Chi Sagittarii star group. Because of the design of the experiment, the location may lie in either one of the two red bands, and there is also significant uncertainty in the declination (vertical axis). For clarity, the widths of the red bands are not drawn to scale; they should actually be narrower.

I could explain everything. Am getting tired. If you’re interested, click on stuff. I am Sagittarius. This makes it even more likely that when the world ends in November 2014 we will be left with a million years of sweet fuck all and the NZFIENDISTS will reign.

“My Higher Power”

“My higher power” makes some sense. There was a guy in N.A.zi land a while ago who used a door knob as his god. Focus on door knob. Pray your ass off. Door opens. God dies. Shit. Maybe he should have used a light bulb as the centre for his enlightenment (haha, drol)

Whatever works I guess. It worked for him. He can count how clean he is by years and years, months and months, and how many days. Wow. I am beginning to think I will be able to do the same. I will have to count back to the weekend after my sisters funeral. But I will remember the date for one seriously long hell of a time.

Even if my ass is frying in the devils lake.

Or my knob is tied to a door knob and the door is slammed shut.


“My Eighth State…”

Went and found some free scientology texts online and read through the first steps. Kind of think it is very odd how all these “enlightenment” style programmes came out of 1930′s thinking.

  • N.A, via A.A is 1935. Bill Wilson (known as Bill W.) and Dr. Robert Smith (known as Dr. Bob). You have to remember America had gone the prohibition (thanks to church going Mums who pushed the legislation through government) and that alchoholism was a moral failing. At least they didn’t whip it out of you. But they did give you belladona and perform what is now referred to as “purge and puke” therapies. Yay. Sounds like every second punk gig in Wellington ever attended.
  • 1938 saw the synthesis of LSD (although the first real trip wasn’t for a few years later when the synthesiser took a massive dose of 0.25mg. 0.025 would be more than enough. He rode his bike home. It was wartime and Zandos labs obviously weren’t paying him enough for petrol.
  • Dr. Anastasius Nordenholz published 2 books dealing with “Scientology” as the “Science of Knowledge” in Germany…

    • 1934 – “Scientology: Science of the constitution and usefulness of knowledge”.
    • 1937 – “Scientology: System of Knowledge and Science”.
      The founder of the modern day Scientology “Church” as we know it, L. Ron Hubbard, wrote almost the same texts in twenty, thirty years later. The only reason I found this information was an obscure little referance somewhere in a list of lawsuits Scientology had taken out. One of them was to try and get a domain name struck –
      http://www.scientologie.org/domain_dispute.htm explains it better than I can be bothered.

Hey, I guess central Europe at this time was under a lot of stress after depressions and upheavals left right and middle. There are probably a whole heap more “new age” fandangled ideals and scriptures to come out of this time. Surprisingly the idea we came from a boeing 737 and blew ourselves up with atom bombs is the fastest growing Church of our time today.

John Trivolta cannot be wrong. Kirsty Alley can (and often is…)

You see, I am still – just making sure – that god is still around somewhere and I have not smoked, injected or otherwise ingested him by accident over the course of my drug taking career.

Having problems finding him. Green blob of global consciousness. More like a consciousness of people on the same wavelength. POSA (People On Same Aallonpituus). I used Finnish for the word for “wavelength” as POSW would be a silly acronym and simply sounds shit.

This is my higher power. This explains my dreams. This explains more than one ESP event. This explains co-incidence.

That is a higher power.

Life after death, souls and other contraptions can wait for another day.

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