John Oliver VS Capitalism and Addiction

Remember FOX NEWS said “BUSH HAS WON THE ELECTION” so all the other news outfits started doing it so as to not be behind, or miss the scoop. The thing is – BUSH DIDN’T WIN. He lost – but the other guy, hearing that he had lost, threw in his towel and conceded, at which point he was fucked. Don’t forget FOX news was run by one of the Bush family at the time…..

Anyway, slightly off the topic, but when have you ever criticised me for being on topic to start with..?..

We need more honest proper journalism and independent investigative journalists. Nowadays you can spot errors in about every single story on every page of every newspaper. Main TV news seems to be more and more like the internet news of old every day.

And therein lies the problem.

People want cute cats, death and mayhem.

The mass public will not sit through a thirty minute story showing both sides of an argument properly… 110km/h on highways kills people.. Boy racers are all druggies with bald tyres. Cute cat.

John Oliver Does Drugs

Sorry about taking some saturation out of your overly coloured American TV face John old Boy…

And then there is JOHN OLIVER. 

He did his usual fifteen minute of TRUMP BASHING, and to his credit he manages to keep this fresh and interesting each week – or maybe it is just due to the fact Trumpt comes up with so much shit each week he is simply too easy, and then progressed to do an opinion piece on the state of addiction in the good ol’ U S of A.

Not a bad effort… Other than he took great pains to ridicule the term “pseudo addict“.

A term I hadn’t heard of. A term which sounds, on the surface, to be total bullshit.

Good on you John, you are the man.

In the context of a drug company trying to show the world it’s drugs are not the cause of addicts problems, it possibly is bullshit. More than possibly even. Plausible denial anyone?

But wait — There’s more…

(yeah, yeah – you guessed it…. Unca Fiendipoo has a spanner. And a good throwing arm.)

Start scratching under the surface (or maybe just start scratching depending how much of an addict you really are) the theory is quite sound. It may come from the mouth of a pseudo scientist, but someone who exhibits addictive drug seeking behaviour may be no more of a problematic addict than you or I (queue Americans favourite laughing track – the auto chuckle)… 

Fiend says –
“Pseudo addict” may just have a place in this debate on how to deal with the problems of addiction in capitalist environments.

Let us just say… Just for debates sake… 

If I am in pain (me? never…) and need a few opiates to coach my kids football team, I go to the doctor. The doctors glasses slide down his nose and he looks at me sideways. No matter how much they know about my pain, my back, my lifestyle, my parenting or my need to participate in life on terms agreeable to me, the maker and the pharmaceutical companies – the doctor will always look at “addict” potential first and my quality of life second.

Purdue, we have a problem.

And, by the sounds of this John Oliver thing, so do hundreds of thousands of Americans.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have not gone all soft in my old age. Americans can all go still fuck right off and suck Clintons dick / clit dry as far as I am concerned.

However, I feel for the pain and the difficulties the poor people who are controlled by the whim of the pen. On a good day the doctor will write. On a bad day, the doctor wont. The days are not so much swayed good or bad by his kid playing well at football — more the pressures put on him by media, drug companies capitalistic ways and the controlling bodies antiquated views of addiction.

This week John Oliver has told the world the drug companies are confusing the doctors. They obviously need to play with their own product some more.

John Oliver. Take time to read GLOBALIZATION OF ADDICTION.

Or, since no one has an attention span any longer than a thirty second sound byte (I know – I am ADHD super hero number 666) …

Dear John @iamjohnoliver

please look up Dr. Gabor Maté  on YOUTUBE.

Thank you, and goodnight.

John seems to have pitted himself against capitalism AND addiction. The first time anyone in history has managed this. A little like … hell … cannot quite work out what it’s like.

Maybe I am very much every inch totally drug fucked as the idiots at Wellington Addiction Services would tell you.

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Serenity is being free to pick your own snot…

Apologies to everyone whom has witnessed me struggling with nose issues (picking and digging at phantom pains and non existent snot balls) for last five months since nose surgery…

FINALLY GOT THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM…
image

This nylon stitch was removed from right nostril by a very fed up and irritable NZFiend utilising excessive force of left handed pinky finger nail.

Life maybe shitty, homeless, avoiding jail by skin of teeth, avoiding opiate addiction even though legs numb by spine clicking out causing agony…

Being able to pick and blow your own nose at will is true freedom.

Love and Tattoo’s. DUMB.

Never pays to get a loved ones name tattoo’d on you. Any old grandma could tell you this. Some would end up with hundreds of names scrawled all over them. Accordingly you may become to be known as STUPID, DUMB or, if the names are not hidden well enough,TOWN SLUT.

Have never really loved anyone enough to warrant a tattoo. Have HATED someone enough to get their name tattoo’d on the bottom of my foot. Have HATED their family enough to get an Angry Bird shitting on their family name on my arm.

Love?

What the fuck is this love thing you talk of anyway?

Turns out that love is sending someone a picture of your latest tattoo and then getting very worried when they don’t email, text, phone or come to you in your dreams for an eternity.

This goes on and on. You get worried sick. All the emails and words spoken flash before your eyes constantly. You stop eating. You sit at the computer and push refresh on GMAIL ten times every minute.

You give up and realise you have lost them to a life far more interesting.

Mind you.. It has only been twelve hoursI may be jumping the gun a little.

.

Hey – Just had a thought…. Rolling of eyes…
The concept of love once made me vomit…
Here’s a graphic for those without good vivid illustrative imaginations……..
love_sick
This escapee pigeon of the cast iron stomach breeding program clearly shows my vomit at love in all its glory.
Or, oh my giddy aunt (not that she was a town bike, honest)…

AM I LOVE SICK?

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg. I am giving myself a headache of interstellar variety and magnatude.

By the time this nonsense wears of I hope the effects of sending my latest tattoo photo has similarly worn off. The twenty year old girl whom should just pack her bags and fly around the planet with me is well worth not pissing off.

And, most definitely, well worth not vomiting on.

 don’t even think about it

TATTOO’S

Being exceedingly clever and well rounded has its drawbacks. Of course, avoiding the temptation to claim every wink as “love” and ending up with a list of names longer than your right arm is one of these. Instead all my tattoo’s are about addiction in a purely binary fashion. You hate, you love. You addict. You hate. Uhm. You work it yourself.

scuba_small

Here I am, as of twelve hours ago. Sent this picture and have not heard back.

Guess I am not going to get her name tattoo’d on me after all. Phew.

What I am thinking is to get DR ED GANE scan and email me his signature for a torso filling tattoo approximately covering the area of liver.

It may just appeal to his sense of irony and humour.

He, having invented some drugs that were tested on my liver, should comply happily. Somewhat sceptically perhaps, but eventually… Happy. May even be a little love, F.O.C?

However, the visualised forthcoming lecture regarding dangers of sterilisation of having tattoo’s done at home would just take the fun out of it. Ed’s enthusiasm for his topics is limitless, boundless and something akin to “mad professor hyper focused ADHDism”…

My tenacity for all things, including really dodgy tattoo work, is equally overpowering.

.

.

Now, back to reality… Has my young lady friend emailed back yet?

.

Hypertext can be bloody dangerous, you’re correct.

When you need a good kick in the head, along comes some really random stuff to do just that.

More specifically, kick my arse out of a rather gravity laden spiral (ie- downward) and into some sort of recovery.

Without allowing my ADHD out of the confining bag labelled “making sense to you, the unwashed masses” and delving off into the world of “recovery writing” I continue….

Heading to the Doctors on one of my brief Government approved outings to the real world I see REAL LIVE PEOPLE. And some real life live people know me. They, without realising, give me reason to be proud of the person whom was once me. For they followed some advice, learnt from my mistakes, or just plain thought “that crazy old wanker has a point” about something. Something learnt via my public self deflagrations had improved their lot. This was, although not up to the standard of instant gratification and happiness most junkies aspire to, rather uplifting.

Or was it just being outside in the sun with fresh air and real live people around?

And then, today, there is, after much fretting about opening gmail on my behalf, an astounding email from someone. Someone whom has found my email address somewhere or some other. And, somehow, decided to write something.

This amazes me every single time. People take time out of their own lives to write to me. My, currently rather pathetic excuse for a life, gets a boost from this.

If only I wasn’t yawning uncontrollably and struggling not to get back into bed at 3pm. For it has been a long day, old coffee mate comes over with a coffee at 11:30 so I pretend to have been “up and about” before he knocked. Borrowing his phone to call some members of officialdom whom have more than likely put my number on “block” lists proves futile- they obviously are avoiding everyone, not just me. He shows emotion at some of the communications that have been killing any amount of mojo and turning my head into what happens when you’ve been on a childs merry-go-round half an hour too long as an adult.

If not for struggling with simple things like bothering to check my own chin for food deposits before visiting doctors offices, I would take care to head some of this advice and MAKE SURE I ENJOY SOMETHING DESPITE THE CONTROLS AND STUPIDITY (I added the “stupidity” bit, admittedly) OF THE SYSTEM.

Sometimes I cannot open emails or web pages. For a few hours today I have managed it. It feels good.

Enough recovery for now. Season Three of AMERICAN HORROR STORY and a horizontal position in bed await closely.

I know the feeling of not being able to open certain web pages out of sheer, squirming anxiety….
This was appropriate when I was on home detention/probation for 12/6 months respectively for buyin’ the drugs off the ‘net, and I wasn’t allowed shit that could speak hypertext.
Don’t feel obligated to reply, I’m just writing in support.
Channel your energies into whatever gets you through.
I started cooking really nice food spent well over 600 hours playing open-world games on Xbox.
I remember I made a stollen with a log of marzipan through the middle.  Holy fuck, it was good….

The lesson for today is…

Hypertext can be bloody dangerous, you’re correct.

Also useful, given the errors WordPress online editing adds during cut and paste sessions…. 😉

Outside the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts

Gabor Matè had some good advice to hand me when deciding giving up drugs was do-able and realising my ADHD issues where problematic.

He told me to read his books. This, of course, required me to purchase them. Upon reading, and having some eureka moments along the way, I have forever been bestowing the virtues of this man and his work. Subsequently he told me that “they” (yes, you – Wellington Addict DisServices and other backward thinking service providers) could not be pushed into reading his work, they would have to find it for themselves. I have been pushing them ever since. There are many examples of this working. People have been purchasing and reading this work of his. Gabor then suggested to me that “I should probably pay you a commission, but won’t…”

It is not for my gratification that I write his name repeatedly. It is to re-inforce the work he does, one more time. Although being a broke bum with no hope of real worthy capitalist employ, the meagre offerings of book sales commission from an old Jewish Addiction Doctor from Canada does hold little appeal.

One of the first thoughts around a little of his work is to be found here — CANCER IS NOT ADDICTION 

Like most of my work, this is basically sans editing. There is little proof reading and even less effort into producing a document the masses could be bothered with. However, this writing, and others, received some praise from people wanting to link to it, or publish it, if only I would re-write it… Do a spelling check… Not swear quite so much… Withdraw any possible sexual innuendo… And make more sense… Hell, did they really expect proper APA referencing?… PISS OFF, NO FUCKEN WAY. However, there were some subsequent messages from some people who take this sort of thing seriously… One comment of “hey look — this guy [doctor Bob from USA] has been reading your blog… [link]…” I should do some of these guys for plagarism. Or, at least, being on such a similar wavelength they are jamming my brain waves from producing more interesting thought process. 

GABOR talked of his addiction of compulsively buying classical music from shoppes and avoiding the issue of time, finance and the overwhelming desire of his wife to find storage space anywhere in his cluttered shrine to classical music that his wife would prefer to call a house.

GABOR went to Narcotics Anonymous meetings and displaced the “Narcotics” for his “Classical Shopping” problematic addiction.

It seemed to make some sense. Other N.A members commented that his problem and him “were in the right place”.

I have issues with right” place. Maybe “correct” place. Should fit better. Really… RIGHT and WRONG are incorrect terms… 

Which brings us, finally, to the point of this post.

addiction_tattoos_big

http://substanceforyou.com/addictions-and-compulsions-not-know-about/ 

^^^ This is the point. An article on other addictions. ^^^

My latest addiction is, most definitely, a thing of major problematic variety and appears very similar to the much maligned “Death By Duvet”.

Have not filled out paperwork under New Zealand’s Official Information of Privacy Acts to demand information from the Police and other agencies in regards to their seemingly unlawful actions.

This latest addiction could just kill me. 

Have started avoiding emails… People whom were helping me have not heard from me for a week. I feel I am letting them down. I know I am letting myself down. And yet the news show at 6:30pm – 3D #3D_TV3 – got me writing on the computer again. This 41 minutes has been good for me. But am more interested in going to bed and watching pirated MP4’s of BANSHEE and real life advert laden TV3’s WESTSIDE at 8:30. Having hacked in four thousand words last weekend discussing the dangers of home release bail compared to prison (and spent hours editing – for once the subject and writing was worthy of real effort) only to have the computer crash, I have been having very severe anti feelings to all things computer. And all things life in general to be fair.

banshee_crap

On Friday I watched SEVEN complete films, including WATERWORLD (which I quite enjoyed). This, very similar to computer game addiction, is probably very much in line with becoming dangerously and problematically depressed.

I need help. Admitting there is a problem could be the first step. The second may well be getting out of this bloody cell I am imprisoned within – me.

Unfortunately this is outside the REALM OF THE HUNGRY GHOSTS. paulAnd probably more in line with PAUL WOOD. He may just have something newsworthy to say on this… Although, this is becoming a shameless product placement, I don’t care. For PAUL was an inspiration to me in jail. Similar ages, and he held his head up against all odds during his trial and back in jail. See, I was there…

I feel the need to switch off for a few months. Being stuck at home 24 / 7 when you live alone and run out of milk is NO FUN. Not being able to see your kid is NO FUN.

Using heaps of drugs, switching off and being able to “hang in there” is less NO FUN.

My happiness deficit will diminish with the use of drugs. 

(So may the chances of me finding a life diminish equally in proportion to this drug intake)

THERE IS SO MUCH TO SAY – HEROIN & MENTAL HEALTH

Heroin & Mental Healthneedles
Learning The Difference Between Causation And Correlation

post written by Anne Martlew

The issue of heroin use and mental health problems is a vexed one. The psychiatric community is divided over whether heroin abuse causes mental illness, or vice versa. All are agreed that heroin use is A Very Bad Thing, and all are deeply fond of the idea that heroin use and mental illness are co-morbid, but none are entirely sure of the precise relationship between the two. Many psychologists appear to believe that heroin abuse can both cause and be caused by mental illness. This allows the label ‘mentally ill’ to be applied to people at both ends of the equation. The problems arise when the authorities are presented with a patient who shows no signs of present or past mental illness (other than their addictive disorder). Such people are puzzling to rehab specialists, and present the world of established addiction psychology with a troubling quandary.

> Cause Or Catalyst?

Like alcohol, heroin and other opioids are likely to exacerbate the symptoms of any mental health issues you are currently experiencing. Any heroin forum will quickly tell you that your state of mind when shooting up makes a huge difference to the experience you get from the drug. As there is no such thing as ‘absolute normal’, and we all have our little quirks, it is easy for people to present as ‘mentally ill’ while high due to the exaggeration of these quirks and the loss of inhibitions. The same is true of drunk people, yet we are not nearly so swift to categorize everyone who’s had one too many as an asylum-case. Some scientists also believe that prolonged opioid abuse can affect one’s neurological makeup, rendering heroin use a cause of mental illness rather than just a symptomatic catalyst. Increasingly, the medical community is beginning to focus on the idea that heroin abuse can both cause and exacerbate mental illness. This is a convenient idea. It’s one-size-fits-all, and it makes it much easier to apply labels to addicted patients.

> Convenient Labels

Of course, if someone has a pre-existing psychosis and a correspondingly flawed sense of judgement then they MAY be more likely to seek out mood-altering drugs than someone of a more ‘stable’ mind-frame. In such situations, mental illness could be said to be a factor within heroin abuse. It’s not unknown for heroin users suffering from psychoses to report that their more personally traumatic symptoms feel lessened while high – although they may return with a vengeance during withdrawal. But, of course, anyone suffers intensely during withdrawal. It’s very easy for a psychologist to look at the mental contortions one goes through while withdrawing and pick out any number of psychotic symptoms, which can be either retrospectively applied as a ‘pre-existing condition’ or described as issues caused by heroin. The problems really begin when a patient turns up who presents with no symptoms of mental illness. This is a problem for the medical community. Such people are much harder to label, and our current roster of treatments depends very much upon labelling people and then applying the treatment relevant to that label. Patients are rarely looked at as individuals beyond the process of trying to fit them into a treatment box. When someone turns up without an obvious neurosis or psychosis, then the authorities try instead to classify them as having a social or traumatic disorder. This is arguably a waste of time.

> Social Determinants

It’s definitely a good idea to tackle the social determinants of opioid use, but this should really be done at the source rather than after the event. Removing the supply and challenging the kind of conditions which cause some vulnerable people to turn to drugs would make a huge difference. But the authorities should also acknowledge that doing heroin is fun, and some people simply do it because they enjoy it. Bad for you, sure. Bad for society, definitely. But still fun. It’s all too easy for psychiatrists to concentrate too hard on constructing a mental illness or a sob-story for each patient and fail to recognize the fact that getting high is enjoyable, and enjoyment is a powerful motivational force. This all too often leads to them failing the patient, as they’re trying to treat a fabricated illness or trauma rather than help them to get clean and stay clean. While it may well be true that certain external factors like mental illness and social conditioning can make one more vulnerable to opioid abuse, if we try too hard to put people into the ‘mad’ or ‘traumatized’ boxes then we will never get to the real root of the problem. Doing opioids is fun, and it makes you feel good. Whether or not it makes you mad or bad is a secondary issue which should be treated as and when it arises, not as the rehab be-all-and-end-all. If we’re really going to get anywhere with tackling the problem of opioid abuse, we need to stop worrying so much about causation or correlation, and acknowledge that some people shoot up simply because they enjoy it. How we deal with that motivation is another issue – but it’s certainly something which needs to be acknowledged rather than brushed under the carpet.

Fiends Withdrawal Tales is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

I, NZFiend, have a lot to say. So much so that people constantly accuse me of pushing my own barrow. Gladly, there are people in the world without their own barrows that they perceive to clash with mine…
>ANNE,
>so terribly sorry that I missed your email entirely. OF COURSE I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO DO ANYTHING YOU ARE IN THE MOOD TO WRITE!
>
>You can mention whatever you like, just be advised that non-de-plumes are entirely acceptable (and a pretty good idea in general!) 😉
>
>Even if you have written something AGAINST the general view of my writing, I will gladly post it here. Just to let you know, I am not all fire, brimstone, regression, annoyance and cheek. A few of my pieces have been picked up by other mental health and government sites if I would re-write them without any swearing or over the top parody. Of course, this would mean severe editing and re-writing. Things of which nature are allergic to me.
>
>Thank you for writing. It is always surprising and, admittedly, a little gratifying when a stranger takes the time to contact me regarding this wordpress blog… THANK YOU. Am in a little bit of a twisted undies situation right now and… Well… A few new emails really has cheered me and given me some hope. Thank you.

A little about me…
I worked in business management in the healthcare industry after studying literature.
On becoming a mother, I took a step back and decided to indulge my love of writing.
Since then I’ve written on a wide variety of subjects.

post written by Anne Martlew

…. an awesome morning with the football …

Had an awesome morning with the football team Saturday.

Car had broken clutch cable and tried to borrow two others. Long story was that they both died right outside their owners houses….

So, I RODE MY BLOODY MOUNTAIN BIKE TO PORIRUA FROM WELLINGTON. That is a fair hilke, so I cheated. A bag of footballs, a bag with boots, tops and gear…. And a mountain bike. 21km with a few uphills in the middle. Uhm – At 7am saturday morning with my dodgy spine? Not likely. So – TRAIN to Porirua from Wellington… Bike up hill… And…

FIRST ONE THERE.

2015_5_2_field

Beauty morning for it. Just after 8pm and the artificial turf out the back of the old forensic unit at the mental hospital looked stunning. Nothing like the problems the area was known for twenty years previously.

The kids started turning up, and I admit to being a little nervous after the events of the last week with the mother of my daughter proving beyond all reasonable doubt that she is a vindictive idiot and not actually even interested in paying lip service to her daughter spending time with her dad any longer. GROAN.

So, the kids were arriving, the parents were supportive, and I just got on with it. Rubbed one of the other coaches up the wrong way, but by relinquishing the role of “referee” they allowed me to break the rules and spend time on the field helping out my wayward team. The autistic, adhd, deaf and blind people lead by this one eye’d ginga did pretty well. Running around on the field and coaching whilst the game is underway should be allowed at this level. The kids really started working well with it…

One kid is great at being goalie, but I like seeing him out the field too. Hell, it was a great morning. My daughter was there complaining she was injured and attempting to play at half speed. This got her little sympathy, she is quite capable of playing. I know her better than people realise. She listened and ran. She listened and passed. She won player of the day.

Apart from her Mum had told the people whom gave her a lift to the game that I was going to steal her so they were not to let her travel or stay with me. Stupid, but that’s that. After 11 years of this crap, my daughters PLAYER OF THE DAY award was given to a girl who played right back as she had improved so much from the week previous.

Somewhat taken aback, the centre forward who scored all our goals looked annoyed. He will win it, bit today he didn’t listen to the coach and we could have won 4-3 if he had passed the ball on the inside to my daughter instead of trying to run through another three defenders all by himself.


DEMLEGS award for the player who ran to places to support her mates went to a young girl who plays left back. Really brilliantly. She listens, unlike most of the guys… She sprinted back on defence and cut some players down…

The award "DEM LEGS" is in honour of someone whom inspired me to believe in good people again. Thanks DEM LEGS.

The award “DEM LEGS” is in honour of someone whom inspired me to believe in good people again. Thanks DEM LEGS.

After the awards were handed out one of the kids Dads decided to ask if he could say something. “Of course”, I nodded at him. It was the centre forwards Dad… An nice American chap of very very very high esteem in the Wellington political arena….

“I, and all the other parents and supporters, have seen you improve EVERY SINGLE GAME and do you know why that is?”

Sensing impending embarrassment there is a prompt interruption from my good mouth – “Yes, it is due to spending MORE TIME TOGETHER as a team…” wink wink, nudge nudge…

“I, uhm, yes, quite correct. Uhm. Other than that, we really have to cheer your coach, NZFiend….”

Oh crap. Knew that was coming. A couple of Mums and Dads come up and ask quietly if I am okay and what is going on after the dramas during the week with my daughter being taken away and her mother and step dad punching me in front of the team…. I just say “it will be all right… It has to be…” and they nod, not fully believing…

WE DREW 3 – 3

Which, after 8-3 and 6-0 losses is very exciting!!!!

Happy times.


So, the sun is up, the kids have gone and there is another game being played. The same age group, but these kids train four times a week as part of an academy. And boy does it show.

These eleven year olds are playing better looking footy than the Phoenix. But, even then, the left winger listens to my advice and runs when suggested. He does a lot better and looks over to see if I have noticed. I wink and walk off.

He’ll probably never see me again.

But I will remember that little red head with the bullet left foot from the Tawa area. He may just go places with the right coaching and staying in school.


As for me? Feels like the only places I am capable of going are court or jail.

Football training tomorrow night. Really doubt my daughter will be there. Sadly I have no life at all outside of my daughter and football. Something which the vindictive are trying their best to take away.

Police, kids Mum and Family Court vs Me and my belief that I am capable of good.

Guess I’m fucked. Nothing better to do with my whole weekend than ride the whole way back to Wellington.

Which I did.

And now my spine is telling me off for it.

Tomorrow will put a new clutch cable in car. And not go anywhere near my kids Mums house.