Was glad to have been of service…

In an absolutely stupendous way, am glad to have been of service.

A number of the unfortunately afflicted, otherwise known as those whom deal with Wellington Addiction Services, have contacted the author of this, the worlds shittest blog, either asking for advice for upcoming meetings, or commenting on their own experiences with the said Addict DisServices.

Some of the best service I have been, to both the afflicted and the DisService, has been verified today. This is a POSITIVE OUTCOME of a USER LEAD APPROACH to dealing with a perceived LACK OF ENGAGEMENT FROM THE SERVICE.

WHEN GOING TO THE SERVICE AND MEETING WITH
CLARISSA “Yes Mistress” BRODERICK
AND
TOM “Baa Baa like a sheep” FLEWETT,
JUST REMEMBER THE IMAGES YOU HAVE IN YOUR MIND OF THEIR
STRAP ONS,
WHIPS AND CANES.

Imagine Clarissa in a head mistress uniform strapping your bare arse with a cane. Imagine Tom keeping her away from the animals…. Imagine whatever you like that helps you deal with them fucking you.

http://scripts.iucr.org/cgi-bin/paper?S0567740877002544 Some public speakers use the technique of imagining their audience as being naked. This works reasonably well when attempting to control nerves and self doubt etc. Given the possibility that you do not have access to high levels of PROPRANOL this is entirely relevant. Just remember the rumour that CCDHB has a huge supply of sponsored strap ons supplied by visiting drug company sales representatives and imagine vividly what they do with them whilst looking them in the eye.

It will stop you presenting to them as annoyingly angry when they deny your well thought and well researched treatment regime to coerce you into their antiquated and highly dysfunctional therapy system.

Remember to praise them both for having nice arses on your way out to score elsewhere.

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Do you get a keyring for thirty days?

Wonder if you get a key-ring from N.A for thirty days? Whatever.

[EDIT] Turns out you do. You get a fluoro orange red thing that stands out from the other side of the planet. This is not going to be shown in public. Christ it was embarrassing. Should have never said it was my thirty day mark. People doing rehab were there, never seen them before and… Well… Everyone made a big deal about me doing thirty days. It was a bit embarrassing. At least I was polite. Shared with something like “I am not doing the steps, but the meetings do me good. And there was a couple of times where N.A people text or phoned just at the right times…” May have over stated the “importance” of them ringing or texting just to help convince the newer people that coming back is not such a bad thing. 

Typical N.A / scientology / J. Witness behaviour. Shoot me. Shoot me in the face with a sawn off shotgun. Twice. [/edit]

Researching

I am hopeless. I should have remembered from university a couple of years ago that I am useless like this. I read, it makes sense, and then I read some more and forget the places, times, names… I remember the overall idea of what was said, but that isn’t getting me anywhere with the APA REFERENCE SYSTEM when I write something.

My my. Shocking. I don’t even remember what book I read what in. I simply go on ad hoc and tell everyone they are full of it.

Sorry if I criticised you for saying something that you never said, nor even thought. Oops.

Mind you, I didn’t actually expect to be going down this path to this extent.

My rules for giving up drugs were to

  1. Stop taking drugs
  2. Keep an open mind

I may be over doing it.

NZFiend changes the world,
one crap journal at a time

I recently slagged off a District Health Board publication intended to provide “clients” of the “methadone treatment” a feeling that they were part of the team.

The team is a term I use very loosely. There is no team in ADDICTION SERVICES, there is a boss, a provider, a mouth piece, a security consultant and a poor junky fuck. There is no poor junky fuck to boss relationship. So, they release a crap publication to make you feel like the bosses are actually just as useless as you are.

They lay it out using free desktop publishing software and clip art from 1984 (I was using the same software in 1984 – I can tell…)

Designed cleverly to make you feel like it is some “non” authority publication maybe?

Or maybe it’s just because the HEALTH DEPARTMENT charges the ADDICTION SERVICE $5000 a year for the use of an old 386 running windows 3.1. No wonder the health budgets are all completely screwed. I could go and buy a new laptop (it would even have wifi) for $1200 with a touchscreen and put better software on it from the public domain (freeware, open source…) 

You could even sign a contract with someone like HP for less than the $5000 one health department invoices another. 

And then the person who lays out this crap publication probably goes home to use her flatmates Windows XP machine with MS WORD to lay out the publication instead. So, $4990 a year down the drain as the machine sits in the corner doing a grand total of fuck all.

Uhm….

Some of that may even be true. Sue me. Sam McBride hasn’t yet. Am not sure about Sandy Baigent (head chef at NZ’s public defendants office…) At least, I don’t know that for a fact. Once my mental health repairs itself enough I will unlock my mailbox and look in it. It has been five weeks. At least someone is pulling the adverts out the front for me.

So, I voiced my concern at some of the garbage in this publication and was shot down. But then someone with decades of experience in the sector (omg, I am starting to sound like one of “them”) came along and agreed. This could, ultimately, lead to some sort of change here. NZFiend puts name forward to do publication. I can list some very good publications I have laid out actually. But that would lead to people working out whom I am. And that would ruin my whole Batman persona.

Don’t know if patronising is the correct word, but the publication is horrid. On all fronts.

        • LOOK / DESIGN 1.5 / 10
          Gets 1.5 out of ten purely as it got produced. I would score a blank piece of paper a solid 1. Creative license scores big. Giving me a blank page to rate may be cheeky mind you. Not as cheeky as saying BENZOS STOP YOUR BRAIN when we have all been on a *.tam of some sort and our brains still work.
        • CONTENT 3/10
          At least you had the balls to put your contact details on it. “COFFEE FOR ADDICTS”. I am going to ring it and see if you’re buying. Don’t know what you think methadone victims are interested in, but either stick to the dry news at minimum or keep interest up using terminology of the “client” not the “provider”. In actual fact, how about just making a little A5 colour flier about how to access an advocate or complaints service? EVERYONE would put that on their fridge. You would get 7/10 for content right there.
        • PURPOSE 2/10
          Whatever the purpose was, you’re not going to reach the audience with this. Sorry. Although, if there is any good information in it, you have hidden it well, thus insuring no useless junky fucks will act upon it and add to your respective workloads. Therefore, you could have scored 8/10. But I have trouble believing this was your true intention.
        • OVERALL
          Unratable. I could rate it. Cannot be bothered. You failed. Why bother rating it? You got well under C, therefore will give you another year to complete the 101 courses required to move on.

Uhm. Think I may have to scan this document and upload it here. It is pretty bad. Or send it directly to people with PHD, MD, or PSY in their titles and see what they think.

Anyway, what do we do about this? We need militant supporters to march on the addictions services and vent. With guns. Or at least large syringes full of air.

Take that Sam.