Well, you have to cringe…

Am getting this tattoo coloured in sometime.

TENDER! Took over two hours. Very fine needle for the whole outline and then a rather raw feeling on the colouring in. Helped kill my back pain for a short while.

And hey –

Unfortunately there are people I care about who have stuck up for me at levels higher than I can reach myself… In order to distance them from the fallout generated by me being me, I have had little to do with CCDHBDSM, ADDICTIONS or anything else for a while.

Trust me, this does not mean I have not been working away with various nameless people and organisations on drug reform issues.

Trust me, I will be a pain in the arse again.

Clarissa, John and all those idiots who carry on like their gods.

I know they are not gods.

For I have met god.

Genuinely, I can clarify….. Clarissa is no where near.

(Sorry to burst your bubbles Blair Bishop General Practice Liaison Officer and John Zonnevylle of convoluted title covering the fact he is a doormat – her legs, tits and smile may have you hook line and sinker, but the rest of us find she has little hold over us. The minute she actually looks into my eyes and opens her mouth with anything approaching honesty would be the exact same minute I provide her with a face shot. Besides, Blair,  I can provide photographic evidence that much better exists. You should come look in my bedroom window some nights…. I kid you not. One or two of my associates can vouch for this. And they have not even had the face shot)

GOD IS FOUND

Stop press.

I have found god.

His name is, unfortunately, ZOPICLONE.

The chemist was very careful to tell me to only take on 7.5mg tablet at night. I asked for some water and swallowed 15mg before leaving the counter.

Whilst waiting at the chemist there were people coming in whom I knew to buy syringes for their Friday night. They all said hello and what the fuck was up with me, I looked wired (with a capital W) to them. They all tried to tell me to sleep and eat. I wish I could do either.

The chemist chick heard this same thing three times in the ten minutes I had to wait. Shows you whom I know in Wellington huh? I can walk the streets of Island Bay or Owhiro Bay and see no one… I grew up there…. I sit in the pharmacy next to 1ml, 3ml, 10ml syringes and have three full on conversations with some good people in ten minutes.

Is this good or bad.

Maybe I should have another zopiclone and see if I can find god in a tree someplace up Mount Vic.

I was supposed to be picking up my daughter right now. Thankfully I have managed to convert that into the morning. I dont think it is possible to catch up on so much sleep and food in one night, but I am going to give it a decent nudge.

 

PEOPLE IN POWER HAVE TO START LISTENING TO THE CONSUMER

not just putting you into a box

I presented with ADHD four years ago. It was first bought up a decade ago by a probation service psych. And yet, becuase I have been on drugs my whole life they write me off as a drug seekers faking the symptoms.

Well, wake the fuck up. I don’t think anyone could have faked how I presented to the G.P.today.

And as for pain, same thing….

Oh yes, Mr Fiend, we can see that you cannot walk and that when you sneeze you piss yourself, but you’ve been an opiate addict, so no pain killers for you.

So I end up almost being paralised becuase I never told them it was getting sore again.

 

CLEVER WELLINGTON COAST DHB. CLEVER.

 

I need so much sleep.

I feel awful about missing my daughter. She’s the reason I am here.