Originally posted on day five of withdrawal process.
Poo’ing a lot right now. Make it stop. Let something I eat stay inside for fifteen minutes.
From Am I an addict – Narcotics Anonymous – Reprinted here without permission.
Do you ever use alone? YES
Of course I do. I can inject myself and live alone.
Have you ever substituted one drug for another thinking one was the problem? YES
But that was years ago. For the last fifteen years I have substituted on purpose to suit circumstances.
Have you ever manipulated a doctor to obtain prescription drugs? YES
Of course. When you can’t get enough to stay really really wasted, you go get some more. Loosing scripts was a favourite. Lucky the doctors just told me to go to different chemists with the scripts. Cheers Doc, you were the best.
Have you ever stolen drugs or stolen to buy drugs? YES YES
Why is this one question? Dumb.
Do you regularly use a drug when you wake up or go to sleep? YES
I use drugs to wake up and to go to sleep. Sheeeez.
Have you ever taken one drug to overcome the effects of another? YES
And it wasn’t even narcaine. Hahahaha.
Do you avoid people or places that don’t approve of you using drugs? YES
Of course you bloody do. I am not that much of a social degenerate.
Do you avoid the females toilet when you’re a male? Come on.
Have you ever used a drug without knowing what it was or what it would do to you? YES
How the hell else are you supposed to know what it is or how good it is?
At least we used to look up most of the drug names in my pharmacopoeia before taking too much.
Has your job or school performance ever suffered from the effects of your drug use? YES
There have been times when the drugs have run low that I have been under performing.
Having to leave, go home, use drugs, and go back… Is that counted too?
Have you ever been arrested as a result of using drugs? YES
But seriously, I am quite capable of being arrested without them. Just the charge sheet is different.
Have you ever lied about what or how much you use? YES YES
Again, two questions. Dude, when you’re dong something and society doesn’t accept that, of course you will lie.
Ask the Prime Minister. Actually, ask those who work in areas of government control. Like mental health.
Have you ever put buying drugs ahead of your financial responsibilities? YES YES
Two yesses just because I can relate so well.
Answer is to drop all financial responsibilities really. Einstein.
Have you ever tried to control or stop your using? YES
But only when out of control and needing to stop. Or when running out of cash.
Illicit drug use is expensive you know.
Have you even been to jail, hospital or rehab for your using? YES YES NO
At 18. At 17th birthday. Rehabs are for whimps.
Does using interfere with your sleeping or eating? YES YES
But not as much as being five days into cold turkeying myself off methadone.
Maybe I should start using again? That would give me some sleep and allow me to keep food in.
Does the thought of running out terrify you? NO <—————- +1 LIKE FAVOURITE
I like hanging out for a day or two now and then. Cleans out the constipation. Keeps it real.
Even when I am out of money, drugs and work NO. It does me good. Thanks for the question.
Do you feel it is impossible to live without drugs? YES
The day they invent a cure for pain is the day I throw my drugs away.
Do you ever question your own sanity? YES
But that has nothing to do with drugs. Promise.
Is using drugs making life at home unhappy? YES
But not any more. Being dumped fixed that.
Have you ever thought you didn’t fit in or have a good time without drugs? YES YES
If I didn’t fit in, I would turn up with more drugs and fit in.
Then everyone had a good time.
Have you ever felt defensive, guilty or ashamed of your using? YES YES YES
It’s not that much of a problem though. I’m okay with those feelings.
Do you think a lot about drugs? YES
It’s been my life for twenty five years or more.
Going to N.A every day will keep me thinking about them for ever.
Don’t know which is worse.
Have you had any irrational fears? YES
Of course I have.
I’ve been on hard drugs for twenty something years after doing everything from cannabis, mushrooms (all types, including visiting god a few times using Fly Agerics), LSD, coke, cactuses…… The list is long and daily.
Has using affected your sexual relationships? YES
Not being able to cum has been great sometimes. Cheers.
Have you ever taken drugs you didn’t prefer? YES
Dude, I prefer double uo globe China White. It’s hard to get in NZ.
Have you ever used drugs due to emotional pain or stress? YES YES
Your double barreled questions are giving me some cause right now.
Have you ever overdosed on drugs? YES
The best time was when my missus o’d’ed thirty seconds before me.
She went onto her forehead on the floor.
I say “hey guys, look out, I had a bit more than her…”
And wake up in bed with her some time later. Turns out she broke my fall.
Cheers ‘Ressa! About the best thing she ever did for me… Hahahaha.
Do you continue to use despite negative consequences? YES
But there are some positives too you know. I ain’t that fucken stupid.
Do you think you might have a drug problem? YES
What the hell would I be doing in a N.A. closed meeting otherwise? Respect nigga.